More from Hung Up this week: Talking about The Odyssey with 11am Saturday.
Gigi Hadid and Bradley Cooper are wearing rings, which could mean nothing. On Monday, the couple did a paparazzi stroll in Paris; they each had gold bands adorning their left ring fingers. People confirmed that the rings were made by the French luxury jewelry brand Boucheron. (His retails for $2,120, hers retails for $6,450. As @/taniavanp commented on Gossip Time’s coverage of the rumored marriage: “Peak late stage capitalism: even the rich & celebrated’s marriages are ‘ads’ for shit.”)
I have no problem with Cooper and Hadid getting married. I don’t even really care about their 20-year age gap. Both have daughters from high-profile relationships (Cooper shares a 9-year-old with Irina Shayk; Hadid shares a 5-year-old with Zayn Malik) and I’ve heard that they’re relatively low-key together IRL. (Previously, Hadid appeared in sentences with Leonardo DiCaprio and the tabloids tried to convince us they were dating.) Good for them! But not good for me, because unfortunately this whole thing has made me think a lot about Gigi Hadid’s kitchen.
In the summer of 2020, Hadid snapped photos of her Noho penthouse and shared them on Instagram. (It is reasonable to think that this is another case of Architectural Digest not being interested.) “Spent all of last year1 designing and curating my passion project/dream spot,” Hadid captioned. “Of course it all came together right before quarantining out of the city.... but I’m excited for the time I’ll get to spend enjoying all the special corners that were made with a lil help from some of my favorite creatives (tap!) who embraced my ideas and didn’t call me crazy.”
A lot of this home is aesthetically offensive, but I think regularly about the kitchen pasta cabinets. Chartreuse penne, bronze yellow farfalle, turquoise farfalle, and clusters of fettuccine the color of diva cup overflow. These “displays” appear to be a visual feature, not a window into the cabinet’s contents. The real pasta — normal shapes and normal colors — finds its home in another cabinet on the other side of the room.
I find this whole thing not just curious but indecent. This is not the kitchen of someone who doesn’t cook. This is the kitchen of someone who shouldn’t cook, the kitchen of someone whose food I’m not eating, the kitchen of someone who has a $1,000 stand mixer but not a meat thermometer. This is not a home; it’s an art project, the kind that doesn’t go in a frame; it goes facedown in a drawer.
Cooper’s home is a mystery to me, but I know two things for sure: he became a fastidious cook while preparing for Burnt, the Kitchen Confidential-ish melodrama about a chef who regularly crashes out in the kitchen. (Before that, he also starred in a doomed adaptation of Kitchen Confidential.) He is also, by many accounts, a control freak. I would love to know what happens to this kitchen in this marriage.
“Some New Beginnings”2
Personal gossip: Speaking of apartments,3 I have a new one. A week after I moved out of my old apartment, my landlord sent me a photo of the oven and a message instructing me to come back and clean. “It looks like you failed to clean the oven,” he texted me. “Bring some oven cleaner and rags.” It didn’t matter that I’d already gotten my security deposit back and returned my keys, and it didn’t matter that I only ever used my tabletop smart oven.4 In the words of Olivia Wilde that one summer: “I mean, there’s a reason why I left that relationship.”
The stress of a last-minute move was made bearable when I hired Cool Hand Movers. The team showed up on time, worked quickly and efficiently, and nothing was lost or broken. The team was also just a pleasure to work with! Even after they helped me pack and unloaded all the reusable moving bins in my apartment, they helped me donate my dining table to Ruth’s Refuge as part of their Reuse for Refugees program. Thank you, Cool Hand!
What the paid list got this week
Ezgi and I talked about The Odyssey. My new favorite thing to think about is which eventual Best Picture contender will be the first to recruit Emily Wilson to their campaign.
And on Lemme Say This this week, we’re talking about catching flights and catching feelings:
More more more
This obit of Ben Affleck’s mom is so wonderful. (Boston Globe)
I liked this review of The Invite. (Vulture)
“Good for her, I don’t think she was that busy before that.” Luanna gives her POV on Carole Radziwill’s return to RHONY.
Someone needs to have these vintage Chanel mules, and they’re not in my size. (Etsy)
Taylor Frankie Paul is no longer on probation. (Us Weekly)
Zack and Bliss from Love Is Blind’s Seattle season named their second child Polaris J ³ ohn Pax Goytowski. Yes, the exponent is part of the name… (People)
From the five seconds I spent on Threads this morning, it appears that Nicolandria fans have decided that Nic and Olandria are faking their breakup so they can date in complete privacy … right …
I’m not talking about the “Donk” remix because it doesn’t exist in the world that I’m living in :)
That’s all this week! Thank you for reading. I am currently in the middle of watching the Robert Pattinson 9/11 movie, and not only is there a line about a dad crying during Erin Brockovich, but Meghan Markle is also in it. Life really is a highway…
I think if you line up the timelines correctly, this kitchen and the novel coronavirus originated around the same time…
:)
You’re never going to believe this … but this segue was not at all planned.
Mind you, he said that Remy (13 lbs) moved the oven with her paws to reach mouse poison … story for another day.
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