Five Circles Journal - October 🍂

“Human beings are wired for connection. Without it, we fall apart. With it, we thrive.”- Vivek H. Murthy — U.S. Surgeon General, author of Together

Welcome to the first edition of The Five Circles Journal — five practical ideas for connection you can read in under five minutes.

This series is inspired by my upcoming book, The Five Circles of Connection, which shares 125 ways to connect to self, relationships, community, environment and spirit.

I’m reading No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz, a simple but powerful guide to understanding our inner world through his Internal Family Systems (“IFS”) therapy method.

IFS suggests our minds are made up of different “parts”. For example, a fearful inner child, long-held rage, playfulness or self-criticism. Each part tries to help and protect us, but can surface in messy ways, such as unhealthy habits, overworking or emotional avoidance.

This beginner’s guide is packed with exercises on how to listen to and reassure (rather than silence or judge) the different parts of ourselves. Sending our attention to them can dissolve inner conflicts and release often-unhelpful background patterns running our lives. Overall, IFS aims to empower the reader, for healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

Read/Listen: No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz. You can also find IFS therapists near you if you want to go deeper.

Instead of e-cards, I’ve started sending friends personalized AI-generated image cards that reflect their dreams or superhero(ine) essence.

This month, a mermaid, future mayor and a Bake-Off champion card arrived at friends’ doors. They loved them!

How to do it:

1. Save loved ones’ birthdays with calendar reminders.

2. Generate an image e.g. using ChatGPT (e.g. “make an image of this person outside their flower shop in New York, in the style of a Monet painting”.)

3. Edit image details e.g. in Canva or Airbrush AI.

4. Upload it to Moonpig to print and post.

Warning: only send this to someone if you feel like you can really lovingly tune in to them.

Not everyone will find it flattering, or likes being reimagined by AI. If you get one from me though, it means I love you a lot and think you have an excellent sense of humour.

Practice: Notice how you feel when someone celebrates you and how you could do the same for people you love this month.

Do you have a local third place to go to - somewhere outside you home or workplace, that feels social, fulfilling or peaceful?

London might be full of members’ clubs, but they’re often better for hosting meetings than making new friends. In LA, I’ve found genuine connection through community events and co-working spaces - where you see the same people again and again.

You could try:

• Co-working from cafés;

• Socials or lates at museums and art galleries;

• Local volunteering, faith, or spiritual groups;

• Playing or watching sports (I love archery);

If you can’t find the kind of third place you want locally, maybe create one.

Challenge: Visit or start a new third space this week. Even an hour in the right space can be uplifting.

Autumn in the UK means digging out our umbrellas, scarves and jackets. Days get shorter, life gets cosier.

Along with our wardorbes, nature changes too. Here are some ways to connect to it:

• Bringing Autumn inside e.g. a perfect red leaf you find in the park or a pumpkin.

• Cooking local, seasonal food e.g. chesnuts, squash, sweet potatoes.

• Notice local nature changes e.g. squirrels hiding acorns, leaves and sunsets changing, mushrooms and chesnuts ripening.

As parts of nature ourselves, the seasons shape how we feel. Noticing autumn colours and crunchy leaves helps us stay present and grounded, even in urban sprawls like London.

Practice: Eat seasonal food and notice nature shifting around you. If you go foraging, remember: if in doubt, leave it out.

October is art month in London, with international fairs Frieze, the Affordable Art Fair, The Other Art Fair and PAD. Local galleries - like flowers beckoning bees to the brightest petals - vie to attract global art collectors with their leading artists’ shows. Most are still going on and free to visit.

We also went to Sofar Sounds - you choose a music genre and neighbourhood and find out who’s performing on the night. It’s all about the connection between curated musicians and the audience in beautiful locations. Hearing artist Ace Clvrk sing reminded me of the spiritual experience witnessing creativity can be.

Idea: Search for a local creative event near you (e.g. on Eventbrite) to get inspired.

What helped you feel connected this month? You can reply or comment on below - I read them all. I hope you enjoyed this first October edition of the Five Circle’s Journal.

Thanks for reading and sending love,

Jess at Human Cabin 💫