Photo by Pavel Egorov on Unsplash.
A new survey from Common Sense Media shows that most teens are using AI, with some utilizing it to support their education, but plenty having artificial intelligence do the work for them.
“While students are aware that AI use can threaten learning, 70% report using AI for schoolwork, and nearly two thirds of those say they’re using it in ways that offload critical thinking,” the report says.
Among teens aged 13 to 17 who use AI, 63% say they use it to get answers to their schoolwork. Of those, a quarter use what the tech offers them as-is, 31% rewrite it to sound like them, and 35% improve it with what they know.
Only 27% of teens say a teacher has ever talked with them about how to use AI safely; 73% say they have not. This lack of communication goes both ways: March 2026 research from the Rithm Project, a nonprofit helping young people reclaim human connection in the age of AI, found that kids who use AI often don’t admit that use to teachers, parents or peers because they fear judgement, and sometimes feel shame, both of which can be dangerous.
On a brighter note, Common Sense Media also found that plenty of kids are using the technology to learn more: 66% of those who use AI say it helps them understand schoolwork, not just finish it faster.
There are also kids who consciously abstain from the technology, though some of them worry they won’t be prepared for an AI-infused world.
Young people understand that the behaviors and knowledge they need are at risk from artificial intelligence. When asked which skills matter most for the future, teens named human skills that AI can’t or shouldn’t replace, such as working well with others (55%), fact-checking and critical thinking (50%), and reading and understanding complex information (48%).
Overall, the research suggests, kids are in a muddle about AI. They use it a lot, but also fear it’s eroding their ability to think.
Parents, meanwhile, can be a source of support and possibly guidance, or they can be a part of the problem, by judging their kids’ AI use, which feels like judging them.
As parents, our job isn’t to solve the how-to-use AI question. Instead, we can empathize with the weirdness of this moment. How kids use this technology will matter a lot to the kind of learners they become — passive and dependent, or curious and discerning. In this back-to-school moment, I therefore suggest having an honest, open conversation about AI with your teens; and rather than seeking perfect answers, try asking better questions.
A good conversation with a teen about AI starts with acknowledging the obvious: we, and the world, are still figuring this out. Tech companies are apparently also “figuring this out” and finally putting in some safety features. This week OpenAI announced the release of a version of ChatGPT designed for 13- to 17-year-olds, with some guardrails like a reduced willingness to spit out whole school essays, parentally-mandated “quiet hours” and checks on sensitive content like that related to eating disorders or self harm.
In general, dialogue is the best method of figuring things out together, especially for teenagers: As we write in The Disengaged Teen, discussion is to adolescents what cuddles are for infants: necessary for brain development.
First, some useful principles to remember when having any conversation about anything with a teen, so that you don’t shut it down before it starts.
Listen. Be curious, not judgemental.
Be authentic. If you have a secret agenda, teens will sense it; so don’t have one. Try to avoid the super awkward “We need to have a talk.” Just wait until everyone is chill and you are walking the dog or cooking dinner or in the car.
Do Not Panic. Whatever is said. They will read and encode and remember that panic. Manage your own fears, because they will be infectious.
One of the best parts of writing The Disengaged Teen was getting to interview world-leading experts on adolescent development. I can boil down the hundreds of hours of interviews into this: Teens want us to listen, and they hate how much we judge.
I loved the work of psychologist David Yeager, author of 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People. He says we do too much “grownsplaining” and asks us to keep in mind that young people want status and respect. When we judge, or nag, we diminish them, and shut them down. If we are curious and listen, we can open them up.
Ellen Galinsky, an author, researcher and co-founder of Families and Work Institute, spent nine years asking over 1,600 young people ages 9-19 the same question: “What do you want to tell the adults of America about people your age?” Five things came back consistently:
“Listen and talk WITH us, not AT us”
“Understand us — don’t just assume the worst”
“We should be treated as if we are capable”
“Don’t stereotype us”
“Encourage and help us — but let us think.”
Here are five conversation starters, developed by the Rithm Project:
Teach me something: What’s a cool or creative way you’ve used AI recently? What do you like about it?
Talk about the “ick”: What’s something about AI that makes you nervous or creeps you out? Why?
Spot the strengths: What do you think AI is good at—or better than humans at?
Spot the limits: What do you think humans do best, no matter how good AI gets?
Make it real: How do you think AI could help—or hurt—your friendships and other relationships?
Rithm Project co-founder Michelle Culver sent me three further questions, which are a bit more advanced:
Do you notice when you go to AI for advice vs when you turn to humans? Do you have a sense of when seeking that advice expands your counsel and when it displaces people?
How can you get better at noticing when that happens?
Do you trust your own instincts without AI guiding you? Do you ever feel reliant on it in such a way that you might struggle without it?
Dr. Pamela Cantor, an expert on the biology of human potential, added another three:
Does AI make me energized and want to do more than I thought I would or could do? Or do I feel less capable after using it?
Does AI make me braver in some way, like I’d risk something to learn something?
Does AI make me think truly differently about something or someone?
Any my own family’s favorite:
What’s something AI told you confidently was true but turned out to be false? How did you figure it out?
Educating yourself is a great start for some of these conversations.
Five Ways AI is Cutting into Kids’ Ability to Learn (the 74)
AI Isn’t a Shortcut to Learning - Priya Lakhani, founder of Century Tech, explains productive struggle and how real learning happens.
The AI Dilemma - Tristan Harris and Aza Raskin of the Center for Humane Technology discuss some of the thorniest questions around artificial intelligence.
We Really Have to Rethink the Purpose of Education - My co-author Rebecca Winthrop on Ezra Klein’s show.
Five Principles for Prosocial AI (Rithm)
Common Sense Media’s AI Center
Parents’ Ultimate Guide to Generative AI
Plain-language explainer covering what generative AI is, how kids are using it, benefits and risks, and how to talk to your kids about it.
Parents’ Ultimate Guide to AI Companions and Relationships
Covers what AI companions are, why they’re concerning, and what parents can do.
How to Help Kids Stay Safe with Google’s AI Search
Google’s AI Mode is now default on all searches and can’t be turned off. This explains what that means and what to do.
Which young people are most at risk from AI? My post on research from the Rithm Project.
What don’t we know? (Rithm)
My story on the Brookings AI in Education Report. The report is long, but TLDR: right now, the harms outweigh benefits for kids because the harms are foundational to kids developing the ability to think, and manage messy human relationships. Also: Parent resources from Brookings
American Psychological Association Health Advisory (June 2025). The APA issued a formal health advisory on AI and adolescents inJune 2025 — the psychological profession’s official position is that AI products targeting children need “stringent safeguards.”
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