I Got Off Social Media and Here's What Happened to My Book Sales

My grandma lives next door to us and has stage four cancer. Last week she went on hospice. My anxiety has been skyrocketing, and I made the decision to scale back so I can focus on my mental health and my family. I was also on deadline for copyedits and am in the process of writing my next book, so everything was feeling...a little heavy and I was overwhelmed.

This is the first time in three years I’ve gone completely off socials.

My substack is all about social media marketing. My social media accounts are all about my books (and memes). As you can imagine, this decision caused me even more anxiety. What would happen to my book’s rankings? My preorders? My substack?

But, when I’d get on socials to post, I’d invariably scroll, no matter if I set limits or told myself “it’s for research!” And then I’d get caught in the shitstorm that is social media - bombarded by the vitriolic discourse, the bookish and publishing drama, all the horrible news. And every time, I’d feel my blood pressure start to spike. I’d get a pit in my stomach. It was not helping my anxiety. So, I made the choice to get off. I shared about my grandma and that I’d be stepping away for a bit and received over three hundred dm’s and comments of well wishes and kindness and grace. My community never ceases to amaze me.

Over the last ten months I’ve been so caught up in marketing, working, and family things that I’ve read exactly two books. My first two days off social media, I read two books. (Blood of Hercules and Bonds of Hercules, which were incredible and just the escape I needed.)

But I was still obsessively checking my rankings on Amazon, particularly for my next book Curses, Keys, and Secret Societies. I’d revealed the cover about two weeks before and under normal circumstances, I’d be posting multiple times a day, driving awareness and sharing preorder links through DM automation, etc. etc. And you know what happened? I’ve watched, day by day, as my rankings get worse and worse. On the one hand, this is great because it proves that my social media marketing does move the needle when it comes to sales. On the other, I'm not ready to return fully because I know my mental health will suffer and I want to focus on the time I have left with my grandma. So, do I get stressed about not posting and watching my sales dip? Yes, but. . .

I’ve talked a lot about manifesting. And ultimately, manifesting is borrowing confidence from FutureMe™ who has already experienced the very thing I’m manifesting. It’s sitting in the knowledge that what I want is already mine and embodying that truth until it becomes reality. It’s about rewiring neural pathways and exercising that neural plasticity until thoughts shape the present and the future. It’s the power of demonstrating to my own self that behavioral change is possible and happens when intention begets action through the sheer power of will. So, if I truly believe this (which I do), then a blip on the radar like a break from social media and a dip in ranking should not affect the outcome of my manifestation. Now, does this mean I get to live in la la land and have zero stress and float along on a dream cloud of all my dreams coming true? Ha, if only.

I’m essentially rewiring the Matrix, deeply coding my own reality to align with my desires and beliefs. There will always be a struggle against that; limiting beliefs that pop up, fears that rear their ugly head, imposter syndrome, and old beliefs that don’t serve me but still cling on like a waterproof bandaid you know is going to hurt like a SOB when you pull it off. Now, don’t get me wrong, I realize this line of thinking (manifesting, positive affirmations, etc.) is not for everyone. Some of you are reading this thinking “what a bunch of woo woo crap.” And that’s okay. Just like organized religion, manifesting requires faith. For me, when I dig into the science of neurotransmitter release, nervous system regulation, and the power of placebo effect (which is essentially method acting), goal setting theory, and self fulfilling prophecy I find it soothes my anxiety and allows me to visualize my desires and their outcomes more easily. Really, it’s a combination of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), positive affirmations, and manifesting. This is what works for me. I’m not saying it has to work for you! To each their own, as always, I’m just sharing the path I’m on.

So, all that to say, yes, the stress still comes when I think about my book sales. But I’m taking care of myself, I’m spending time with my grandma, I’m allowing myself to finally “refill the well” after so long dipping into it. And I KNOW that my goals will still get accomplished. Do I know exactly how? No. But I know that I’ll put in the work and mindset calibration to ensure I set myself up for success. I trust my community will share my books. I trust that when Curses goes up on NetGalley next month it will hit the first page of “most requested books.” I trust that the work I have done will continue to pay off in my brief absence, even if I don’t see that reflected in real time numbers right now.

At the end of the day, having a loved one on hospice, seeing my dad and grandpa struggle with the impending reality, it puts things into perspective. My grandparents have been together for 70 years. They’ve built a legacy together. My grandma used to clean cement off old bricks to be reused in building for a penny a brick. When I was little and would have sleepovers at her house, she’d tuck me in and tell me made up stories about woodland creatures while she scratched my back. She’s one of the reasons I fell in love with storytelling. My grandpa came from an immigrant family and grew up with nothing. They started a business that became successful, built a family, and have a lifetime of love to show for it. That’s what I’m aiming for. Building a future for my family that impacts not just us, but others. And to do that, I have to allow myself the grace to step back when I need to because if I don’t, I’ll be no good to anybody. This is a hard thing for me to accept, but I’m working on it.

All that to say, I guess this is a little essay in having faith in the process. It’s about giving yourself the time when you need it. To hold your loved ones close and cherish all the time you have with them even when it’s hard.

I’m sure I’ll slowly start integrating social media back into my life soon, but in a new way. A healthier way. I’ll continue to post here about social media marketing because I’m extremely passionate about it and have seen firsthand the power it has and the community it can build. Thank you for your grace and patience as I work through all this, for being here, and even reading this post. It honestly means more than you can imagine. I feel like I have an army behind me.