I am on the shoulder of the highway. An hour into waiting for a tow truck that was supposed to be here forty-five minutes ago. It is the first day back from Montana, which was all highs: the kids feral and happy, our friends who have the house out near Red Lodge feeding everyone hot dogs and burritos and lots of delicious chilled wine.
The last time I was there I was helping them redo the layout and think through an addition, the finishes, all of it. That was a long time ago. The house and I were on roughly the same schedule: false starts, fumbled communications, long silences. It appeared nothing was happening and something was.
It wasn’t a designer/client thing. I don’t take projects at full scope. Bandwidth, partly. Mostly that I have never wanted to run a studio, not once, not for a day. I’d rather give somebody enough nerve to trust their own eye.
People tell me that isn’t enough. That they want their hand held start to finish, and honestly, for a lot of them that’s just true; the whole business is a headache they’d happily pay to skip. But some of you want the control. You want to have made it. And I walked into that house last week, and it was done, done well, without me hovering, me just a text away all summer, and I thought, okay. Maybe I’m not insane. You do have to be the kind of person who can sit in not knowing, who can move through the shit-this-might-not-work feeling of it all. That’s the part I love. It’s also the part that stops most people before they start.
Which is rich coming from me. I will listen to a podcast about a thing for six weeks rather than do something about the thing.
So today, I was driving home, congratulating myself on all of this, on how much of my life I’ve spent waiting for somebody else’s opinion, and the tire blew, and the car pulled hard right. I got to the shoulder and froze. I just sat there. I called my husband to report it, the way you’d report weather. Then I told him not to come.
He came anyway. Showed up right as the tow truck did, as if they’d planned it. I made my therapy appointment and cried through the whole thing, which I’m blaming on yesterday’s eclipse, because it softens the blow to blame the stars.
The tire was shredded down to nothing. They replaced it under the warranty and didn’t charge me a dime.
Now, on to five things I liked this week…
Cluttered fridge doors, mementos and newspaper clippings on cupboards, things on countertops.
I am one, and my face is starting to show it. This brand sent me a pillow designed for those two problems, which seems simpler than changing the one position my body feels safe enough to relax in.
Code WITANDDELIGHT10 gets you 10% off!
I discovered them through their baggy statement satin pants, and stayed for the sculptural jewelry and unique shopper bag in bold prints.
I love the look and practicality. This inspiration image should get your wheels turning…
I want to design a room around this very pink rug. Pair it with rich chocolate browns and furniture with strong lines, perhaps a bit of mint green and ivory upholstery…
If you liked this post, check out my latest essay on stories of self-discovery and growing into who you’ve always been.
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