The Hormonal Lens We're Missing

Life After Burnout: The Hormonal Lens We’re Missing

If you read my recent post, you’ll remember I spoke about life after burnout in perimenopause, how much better things had been feeling, and how far I’d come.

And it was all true. The progress is real, tangible, and something I’m proud of. But just days later, that all too familiar feeling crept back in.

And it got me thinking.

We often talk about burnout as if it’s a singular, isolated event. But what if it’s not just about stress, masking, our neurodivergent minds that are always on? What if there’s more to the story, something deeper, more biological? Something hormonal?

I’ve started playing with the idea of “Big Burnout” and “Little Burnout.” Like how trauma is often categorised into big and little. Because not all burnout is the same. Some of it is a full nervous system collapse, what I now think of as a full nervous system shutdown. It’s not just being tired or overwhelmed. It’s a crash. A shut-down. And it lingers for months, at the very least.

And for me, the timing of these crashes isn’t random.

I’ve noticed a clear connection between the intensity of my burnout and fluctuations in my hormones. When my oestrogen is at its lowest, especially after long gaps without a period, I experience my worst crashes. I’m not just more emotional or tired. I’m completely unmoored. Everything feels heightened, but I have zero capacity to manage or respond, communication without misunderstanding seems impossible and retreating from the world, feels like the only safe option.

But here’s the twist: even slight increases in oestrogen, like going from 1 to 1.5 pumps of HRT, can flip the switch in the other direction. Suddenly, my mind is spinning at full tilt. It’s not clarity I feel. It’s chaos. A mental spiral, like being stuck on a waltzer, spinning faster and faster.

It’s manic. It’s relentless. I crave stillness, but there is none.

And this is the hormonal reality no one warned me about. It’s not just mood swings. It’s the nervous system hijacked by chemistry. The hormone shifts don’t just affect the body; they shape the mind, the energy, the entire experience of living.

Either side of the Big Burnout, I experience smaller “mini crashes.” These usually last a few days, like a weekend of fog, paralysis, exhaustion. They serve as warnings, early signs of hormonal imbalance or depletion. And while acupuncture or rest can help, I’ve started to notice how predictably (but also LOL because my cycles are anything but predictable) they align with hormonal dips or changes in my HRT routine.

These aren’t random bad days. They’re physiological. And yet, how often do we, as neurodivergent women, blame ourselves? We internalise it. We might know that we are more prone to it and therefore when we can’t stop it from happening, it’s another thing we are failing at.

But how much of this is actually out of our control?

Interoception, the sense of internal body signals, is often dulled for many of us. We don’t feel the early signs. We carry on until we crash. And with perimenopause thrown in? It becomes nearly impossible to read the subtle cues through the thick fog. We only notice when we’re already thigh deep in the mire.

We’re expected to keep going, parenting, working, performing, while our hormones swing like wrecking balls through our nervous systems. And still, there’s shame in saying: I’m struggling again.

Especially when we’ve “recovered.”

The shame is real. How can I run a professional business, support others, and still be here again? But this isn’t weakness. It’s not lack of progress. It’s biology. It’s wiring. And for many of us, it’s simply how we move through the world as it is.

Until we reach this point again:

“As I lie in bed, curtains drawn, fan humming. My head is thick with fog, my limbs heavy and tingling. I trace my steps back—what did I miss this time? Was it the stress? The excitement? Or simply another hormonal shift I couldn’t see coming?”

Probably all of it.

And none of it because I failed.

HRT can be life changing, BUT it’s not a one size fits all fix. Getting the right balance is a delicate process. Too little, and the floor falls away. Too much, and the mind races into hyperdrive.

This is the nuance we need to talk about more. Hormonal mental health. Hormonal burnout. Hormonal nervous system collapse.

Not “just menopause.” Not “just anxiety.”

Recovery is real. I’ve lived it. Life after burnout can be vibrant, meaningful, and full of joy. But these cycles may still come. The key may not be in avoiding them entirely, but in understanding their rhythm and removing the shame when they return.

Especially when we start to recognise: It’s not about failure. It’s this life as neurodivergent women in perimenopause. And hormones have perhaps much more to do with it than we realise.

Can you relate?

Sophie x