I'm not much into dreams

but last night I was in a cathedral
for a seminar, something about work
and as the session ended and people
laughed and made plans for dinner
on their way through the giant doors
I couldn’t find my bag among the few
left leaning near the half-lit votive rack
underneath some version of the Blessed.

My frustration grew circling
the sanctuary in both directions
over and over and in between
looking under the lights clicking
off one by one and I think
they knew I was searching
for something but no one helped
as they wound up microphone cords
and chatted confidently
while gathering the nametags
of those who never showed.

It was all in that bag, years
of striving hoping trusting and
shit, my keys. I stood in the back
unsure before stepping outside
as the door locked behind me
looking at a muddy field where
only my car remained and
the last thing I remember was
sitting on the top step saying
now what?