Savor the Seasons

Dearest Homekeeper,

Happy Thanksgiving! It’s that tender hinge between gratitude and the anticipatory actions toward Christmas. Like most holidays, it carries a sense of nostalgia for traditions that help keep us grounded.

Once, when hosting my family for Thanksgiving dinner, we bowed our heads over the meal, expressed thanks for our blessings, passed the rolls, and then, afterwards, when someone brought out the Black Friday circulars. Pages of ads were spread out on the floor as everyone hunted for the best deals. We had just given thanks for what we had, and now we were circling what we didn’t. I was disappointed with my clan and said something. Homekeepers know there’s a better way to live by tending to, not on what we replace.

Another time, while traveling in Germany, at a restaurant table, the waitstaff asked if another couple could join us, as seating was becoming limited. We said yes, and this young London couple joined us. We had a delightful conversation with these strangers, and something they said stuck with me: “When traveling outside of England, it’s like downshifting in terms of pace.” That sounds so appealing!

Grounding practices help us do the same when life speeds up. We’re still living our regular monthly schedules, only now with Thanksgiving and the holidays layered on top. Slowing down isn’t about resisting celebration; it’s about choosing a humane pace.

Let's pick on being tethered to the phone, particularly when there are real, live humans in the rooms. To be old school and actually talk on the home phone rather than texting seems almost archaic nowadays. Hearing a familiar human voice softens the edges of the day, reminding us of a real person on the other side. The easiest first step to establishing this habit is to ban phones while eating at the dinner table. In-person interaction releases oxytocin, the “bonding hormone”.

If possible, always choose a face-to-face conversation. It is still the optimum way to communicate. I'm limited because my family doesn't live nearby. Voice communication reduces misunderstandings, creates real-time emotional attuning, and satisfies the basic human need for connection. Most people are drowning in group chats but starving for genuine conversation. There can be a place for face timing, like when my daughter and her husband did so during the birth of their first child while he served in Afghanistan.

For me, it isn’t so much phone use as it is using my laptop. With a cup of morning coffee, I immediately check my email, my text messages via the web, and digital news. A bit of FOMO, perhaps. So I balance it with things that center me. I read meaningful subscription emails, pray, and take a moment of quiet before jumping into my day. When I do that, it almost feels like I’ve added an extra hour to my day.

Cooking your own meals instead of ordering delivery (nothing against outsourcing meals) can change the whole feel of the home. The writer Joan Didion loved to cook and host dinner parties. She said being “in the kitchen could be a ritual, meditation, in a room, and a time of my own. The intent is everything, in cooking as in work or faith.”

Chances are, you are in the kitchen this Thanksgiving Day. Whatever you are simmering on the stove is more than dinner. Its presence. It can be a future memory for some. It’s a reminder to the people under your roof that nourishment is not something to be delivered, but something to be nurtured. The prep of a meal forces presence, creates sensory pleasure, and connects people to culture.

I try to balance both analog and digital in each room of my house. It can be a group puzzle, a board game to play, going through a family photo album, or even a simple art station with paper and coloring books, both children's and adult varieties. Music plays in the background.

May your home be remembered for including the human element. The ambiance, the overall feeling of a home, is more than just the stuff it contains.

With you in the keeping, Cathenry.ch@gmail.com

P.S. “Less craving, more contentment.” ~ Buddha