Design Friction

Dearest Homekeeper,

When you walk through your front door, do you exhale or immediately change the hats you were wearing and start in on the next task?

Culturally, we live in a world that encourages us to squeeze in as much as is possible out of every waking moment. Our homes can offer something different and be a place that slows us down enough to notice how we are living.

Friction maxxing, a recent self-improvement term, is making the rounds. It means to create certain things that are a little less convenient. I agree with the idea but would rename it to design by friction. Maxxing sounds like just one pressure in life that needs to be optimized.

The idea is simply to make habits you want to break slightly harder to do and habits you want to acquire slightly easier.

For example, instead of keeping your phone beside your favorite chair, leave it in the next room. Instead of sweets being visibly on the counter, have fruit instead. Then there is removing stored payment information from online shopping websites or even on your tech devices so you can physically handle your payments. Does anyone remember that commercial when people are checking out quick food items with their credit card swipe until that one person doesn’t and the background music suddenly changes to a slow-mo tune. Back in the day, there was this money management trick (before debit cards): rinse your credit card in water and put it in the freezer. Guess it’s a reinforcement to freeze immediate spending; let the card thaw a little while you decide what you want to buy is a want or need.

None of this is rocket science kind of ideas, just small interruptions between impulse and action.

I am not one for counting my daily steps. In my kitchen I my minded dishes, pots and pans live in areas that compliment their usage (the coffee machine, the stove) hence fewer steps. Lately I have been thinking: do I need to rethink that? Perhaps every step doesn’t need to be saved. Putting something a little further away may be good for me. Walking across the room, rather than being tethered to my phone, might give me a moment (I use ringtones for people I want to talk to) to see if I really need to respond right away.

The optimum word slight matters. This idea is not to make life difficult. Things like adding friction to pay bills in a timely manner, taking meds, keeping appointments…anything I struggle to begin shouldn’t be on my list. I am not trying to create a roadblock but instead something more like a speed bump.

There are gifts from convenience for which I am grateful, and I thread those through this topic. I just don’t want convenience to also remove experiences I might enjoy in lieu of efficiency.

Writing handwritten notes rather than tapping an emoji on the screen; cooking together takes longer than ordering takeout; washing and drying dishes together captures people together for what might be a serendipitous bonding time of a cherished tradition.

Friction designing can be making technology slightly less available. Like while eating together or having a conversation with each other. If you have kids, I am willing to bet you designate screen time for them. Are you following the same guideline?

Give yourself permission to wait; not every pause has to be filled. The wait in line, or even being a bit bored, gives the mind a break for observation, reflection, creativity, and patience to creep in.

Other fraction designs benefit by turning autopilot off or, worse yet, responses like Pavlov’s dogs to every demand. Years ago, when I was changing diapers, which seemed like constantly when 3 of my 4 were wearing diapers, I asked my mom (who had five kids closer in age than my own are) how she did it. Her advice was not to think about it so much and just do it. She was partly right, except I discovered moments of eye contact, chatting it up with the littles, with them trying to provoke a sound as if in conversation. I would have missed that connection if I rushed through every diaper change.

Boundaries can be created from friction design. A phone charging outside the bedroom removes the tendency to check it while lying in bed or first thing in the morning. As I live alone, I’m mindful that I might fall during the night outside of grabbing distance of the phone to call for help. Here I take advantage of digital home assistants (like Amazon Echo, Google Nest, or Apple HomePod) where I can verbalize a number to call for help. Smartwatches have that capability as well, but I can’t imagine going to bed wearing one.

One of the most beneficial things about friction design is that we notice our surroundings intentionally. That is why our homes matter. It’s always shaping the people who live there. Homes do more than provide shelter. They allow us to make choices easier by including slight distractions that may seem less convenient yet creating those moments to pause that are important to us.

With you in the keeping, Cathenry.ch@gmail.com