Boring Can Mean You’re No Longer Messing Up Your Life

I used to long to be eighteen again so I could ruin my life differently.

I’d spend time coming up with all-new ideas on how to do it, which did not include getting pregnant straight out of high school.

Before I learned I was pregnant at eighteen, my most immediate priority was Friday night clubbing. And then Saturday, and sometimes Thursday drink specials at select nightclubs. It’s no wonder at all that I ended up pregnant with priorities like that.

Within the same week, I peed on a stick and a “+” sign appeared, I also received a letter of acceptance for college. I had applied to interior design school that year.

Clearly, these two life-changing events couldn’t coexist without flunking out of one or both, so I had to make a choice and this is how it went down in this guest post I wrote for Shelly Mazzanoble.

Almost instantly, I turned from bar-fly to boring in the eyes of my so-called friends, who inevitably stopped coming around. A baby is cute and all, but you can’t just shove it into your handbag and hit the club on Friday night.

The thing about becoming boring at such a young age is that it may have saved me from experiencing worse things. I mean, if I was irresponsible enough to get pregnant so young, I can’t help but wonder which dumpster I may have woken up in if I hadn’t been forced to smarten up via motherhood.

I’ve since gone on to successfully ruin my life more times than I can count throughout the years.

I quit a ten-year corporate career to dance off into the sunset and try living in the tropics. I quit another corporate career after 4 years to go back to college, only to never even try working in my field of study. I also tried launching a business that cost me nearly twenty grand to get started, but it failed within months.

I’ve left behind security and replaced it with frivolity more times than I can count, and all of them left me hanging out to dry like sneakers dangling from an overhead wire in a dark alley.

But one thing has remained steadfast; I’ve always come back to boring eventually. It’s been kind of a lifesaver, a breath of fresh air in between madcap stunts.

You can always run off and ruin your life in monumental ways with the comfort of knowing that ‘boring’ will be sitting here waiting for you when you return to your senses.

Right now, I’m the most boring I’ve ever been and I’m actually quite content with it. I rarely even turn music on in my car anymore because I prefer a quiet, thoughtful drive instead.

I’ve been doing absurd things such as purchasing recipe books and writing actual grocery lists.

I watch so much Netflix that I’m the sole reason they keep releasing new shows. I think they’re having a hard time keeping up with me.

I can’t even date at the moment because I’m so boring that I have nothing to say.

The other day, I looked online at new rental properties because, sadly, I have to move again 🙄 Life of a renter. But in the two years I’ve lived in my current house, I've gone all nature-nut, learning about feeding birds and squirrels, only to discover I was also feeding mice. 😬

There’s a certain serenity in being boring enough to read up on and compare natural rodent repellents.

The other day, I was at a friend’s house for a play date with our dogs. All we did was sit in her back yard watching our mutts frolic while sipping on non-alcoholic beverages, and it was a bit heavenly.

I spent last Friday night eating nachos on a patio with Sherry Trentini and flirting with our university-age server, even though he may have been gay. 😆

Of course, this doesn’t mean I’ve permanently given up all my earth-shattering activities, such as travel, because in case you didn’t know, I shatter the earth all day, every day when I travel.

But now I definitely don’t feel the need to sell everything I own (again) and go through a full-blown midlife crisis just to feel something. I no longer have to mess up my life to the point of having to pivot so hard I get dizzy and vomit. That sounds too much like my bar rat days.

I’m content to just briefly shatter something and then hightail it back to the comfort of being boring.

To be honest, I think boring has a bad rap. Nobody ever says, “Things are going really well. I have stable housing, decent relationships, manageable stress levels, and a healthy sense of perspective.”

No, they announce when they’ve quit their jobs (Facebook worthy for sure), bought a llama farm, fallen in love with a magician, and moved into a converted school bus.

Boring never makes the headlines! Hence, I gave it a headline and a one-page spread today. Because boring does pay the bills (ish?), lowers your blood pressure, and rarely requires an emergency contact.

I’ve become a surprisingly big fan.

Have you reached your boring era yet, or are you still out there enthusiastically making questionable life choices?

No judgment either way. Some of my best stories ever came from terrible decisions.😆

Drop a comment and tell me what’s the most delightfully boring thing you’ve done lately?

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