Why Do I Keep Looking for Love from Everyone Else?

Have you ever caught yourself doing one of these?

❤️ Saying “yes” when every part of you wanted to say “no.”

❤️ Worrying whether someone was upset with you.

❤️ Going out of your way to make everyone happy...

...and then quietly wondering why nobody seemed to do the same for you.

Or maybe...

you’ve spent your whole life trying to be the perfect daughter.

The perfect wife.

The perfect mother.

The perfect employee.

The perfect friend.

Because somewhere inside...

you hoped that if you loved people enough...

they would finally love you back.

A few mornings ago...

someone in our session said almost exactly that.

“Hitesh... I think I’m a people pleaser.”

She wasn’t asking how to stop.

She wanted to know...

“Why am I like this?”

I smiled.

Because over the years...

I’ve learnt that the first answer is rarely the real answer.

So I asked her just one question.

“What are you hoping to receive every time you make someone else happy?”

She became very quiet.

Then...

almost as if she surprised herself...

she whispered,

❤️

“Love.”

The room became completely still.

I invited her to close her eyes.

“Where do you feel that inside your body?”

She placed both hands on her chest.

“It feels heavy.”

We stayed with it.

No fixing.

No analysing.

Just staying.

Then another word appeared.

“I’m not good enough.”

A few moments later...

“Unworthy.”

And then...

a memory surfaced.

She was the fourth daughter.

Three elder sisters had been born before her.

A thought quietly appeared inside her.

“Maybe my parents wanted a son.”

Whether that was true...

or whether it was simply the story a little girl created...

didn’t matter.

Because children don’t remember facts.

They remember feelings.

And that little girl had carried one feeling for years.

“Maybe I have to earn love.”

Not by asking for it.

By pleasing everyone around her.

By putting everyone else’s happiness before her own.

💔

I invited her to sit beside that little girl.

She didn’t try to convince her.

She didn’t tell her to stop crying.

She simply held her.

Then she softly said...

“I see you.”

“I acknowledge you.”

“I’m sorry you had to carry this all alone.”

“Please forgive me. I didn’t know any better.”

Then...

she hugged her.

The room remained completely silent.

Before we finished...

I asked everyone to place both hands on their heart.

And gently repeat...

❤️

“Every time I place my hands on my heart... I remember that I am worthy of receiving love and acceptance.”

She opened her eyes.

Smiled.

Then laughed through her tears.

She said...

“Every cell in my body feels happy... like it’s dancing.”

I’ve thought about her ever since.

Because maybe...

people pleasing isn’t really about pleasing people.

Maybe...

it’s a little child...

still hoping someone will finally choose her.

The beautiful part?

The love she’d been searching for in everyone else...

had quietly been waiting inside her all along.

Every weekday morning at 8:00 AM IST, I spend 30 minutes guiding people through a simple experiential process that brings together Ho’oponopono, Family Constellations, Inner Child Work, Shadow Work and NLP.

Every morning, someone discovers that the problem they came with...

was never the real problem.

If you’d like to experience one of these mornings for yourself...

👉 Click here to join us.

With love,

Hitesh Bhatia
Success Coach – Helping people achieve impossible success.