on shuffling my life

Almost eight years ago I discovered a iPhone app called Shuffle My Life, which claimed to just give you ideas for things to do, no subscriptions, no signups, nothing. Within weeks I had started to feel like I was living a much more meaningful life, one that felt fulfilling in the most unusually absurd ways — writing an angry letter to someone I would never actually send it to, sneak in a small gift to someone I love, juice a fruit just for the hell of it, you get the idea.

Anyway, I gave up on it within a couple months, just like when you listen to a song too much and it makes you sick of it after a while. I randomly remembered it a few days ago and realized I don’t need it anymore.

Here are a few fun things I did this month:

• Discovered the similarities between Trickshot Simulator and every other grind based AAA multiplayer game there is (thanks NorthernLion for that)

• Wore denim overalls for an entire day

• Tried to jailbreak the depressingly realistic voice AI Maya from Sesame AI

• Drove across town to get cupcakes from a cupcake ATM

• Bought a book and mailed it to someone I have only met once

• Wrote fifteen Letterboxd reviews (two for movies I haven’t even seen) (The Substance. The Wikipedia was enough, I can’t watch body horror)

• Followed an online recipe to the dot to recreate the best chicken burritos I’ve ever made

• Bullied back an anti-intellectualism warrior in the tiktok comments of a video about the Andromeda Paradox

• Learned about the Andromeda Paradox: an insane though experiment about time

• Watched Paddington 3 and Conclave within 12 hours of each other

• Cried in a public park after playing Before Your Eyes

• Got a bunch of different seeds and planted them in pots hoping for the best

• Wore my goofy rainbow Viking Peruvian knitted chullo hat outside

• Pressured (convinced) a close friend to go with me to Phoenix for a wedding

• Played a card game called Happy Little Dinosaurs (they’re not happy tragedy is fated but at least they are cute)

• Successfully convinced (lied to) someone at gym that I am an ophthalmologist at Houston Methodist

• Tried fried Oreos at the rodeo

• Learned the lyrics to all songs on Bad Bunny’s new album

• Made zero significant purchases on a whim

• Got my best friend legitimately concerned that I had arrested development

• Made a new friend at work

And here are a few things I am not proud of this month:

• Parked in a moms with strollers only spot at gym (and I’ll do it again)

• Continued my 900 day Duolingo streak

• Had only dessert for dinner one night because I was not in it

• Rediscovered chilli oil

• Accidentally over fed my cat (twice)

• Wasted an entire day building a pointless Firefox extension that already exists

• Didn’t volunteer at the pet shelter

• Reconnected with an old arch nemesis

I am here to proselytize anyone who reads this to not fall into the metaphorical mosh pit of self-help bullshit and the next best strategy to maximize your productivity. Mosh pits don’t last long and productivity slop doesn’t either.

Life is too short to set up PARA folders in a hyper-configured Obsidian PKM and it is certainly too short to make every future event/chore/activity/errand into a task in the task management app you decided to buy for $48/year because it was a good deal (in hopes it would finally push you to get back on track).

Maybe you need to lock in to your senses to witness true personhood. Prove to yourself you have free will and drive all the way to the grocery store to get just one thing. Maybe smell the fresh evening air through your car window on the way instead of blasting your AC. Hell maybe blast that new Selena and The Marias Ojos Tristes cover through that window, what you’re too self-conscious to be judged? Has the fear of being perceived of being cringe (or the fear of being perceived period) like other Gen Z been this ossified into your brain to not allow you to just… be yourself? Cliche as it may be, it’s the only true way to live.

Consider the possibility that you may just be using your anxieties as a crutch to support your unwillingness to try new things. I write more about the philosophy of subconscious self-sabotage here.

It’s not self-serving to be a nihilist, if you’re into that hyper individualistic self preservation kind of thing. Ultimately, cynicism leaves you tactless and poisoned with grapes are sour syndrome so might as well try something less edgy.

That’s that. Here is my newest playlist:

Here is some online stuff that interested me this month:

• Wiki that is documenting fundamental gaps in human knowledge

• A shipwreck that was discovered recently: Beeswax wreck

• On Keeping a Notebook - Joan Didion

• Click for seals: arf arf

• Useful: A tool to help break tasks you find overwhelming or difficult

• Thought-provoking: How Different Societies Create Different Kinds of Gods

  
  Brevity is the soul of wit

  Polonius, Hamlet, Shakespeare

Thanks for being here. If you liked this post, don’t tell anyone. I like to pretend I am talking in an empty room. Consider subscribing for more of my brain droppings.