I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date! No time to say "Hello, Good Bye" I'm late, I'm late, I'm late! - White Rabbit
If I’ve had a life verse, I (currently) think it’s this: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” It was the first prophetic word I ever received, back in college at someone’s house in Nottingham, Pennsylvania. This visiting large man with a beard (who knew nothing about me) said that I was a distance runner, that I would run into the circle of leaders, and that I was going to be a doctor. This might be the most vivid and accurate word I’d ever gotten— all I’ve known is to run towards the highest achievement I could vaguely identify, while what I was running away from was always more in focus.
As such, I feel that time has always moved differently for me than others. I went from nothing to a front row seat to the “AI First” boom in one of the top Machine Learning groups in the world. I went from a person no one wanted to speak with to invitations to speak around the world, invited to boards of directors and advisors, and interviewed by journalists. In one of my talks, I called it “abiding upwards,” a play on failing up. Unconventionally, this is all an outcome of being everything everywhere all at once.
In the post-pandemic chapters of my life, I feel I must shift my focus from looking backwards to forwards. My starting point in life was below sea level, and if I simply aimed upwards, I could rely on buoyancy to keep me oriented. My only responsibility was to not be eaten by anything. My only aspiration was to breathe the air at the surface. Anywhere was better than where I was. Tenacity alone was enough.
Things feel different now that life is no longer just up and down. It’s the difference between being prophetic and being wise. Being prophetic, I could always feel the direction of where God was moving, but I couldn’t explain it to you. That’s the difference: that prophecy is knowing what something is, and wisdom is knowing why something is. I facetiously would say that I lacked, “prophetic depth perception” — that the past, present, and future often collapsed into one (like a soup). That’s why people always thought I did many things, while I felt like I was barely doing anything— time moved differently for me.
We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. - T. S. Eliot
If you didn’t see my 2023 summary, I go into more detail there. It feels cliche that kept feeling I was evolving, maturing, growing, only to discover that I am who I always was (just better at explaining who that is now). The terrains and backdrops of my life are changing at the same rate it always was, but I have increasing confidence in everything that’s been before, which leads one to get to know that part of oneself that is unchanging. When it says to love God with all our soul, this is the part of me it speaks to. And if my life says anything, let it be the evidence there is a God that is actively with us always.
I don’t feel accomplished, but I do feel at peace about my faith, my walk, and my abilities. The hard things in life are still hard, but being bold, brave, and uncomfortable are what “laying down one’s life” entails— that we are willing to pay the cost, because Love is worth it.
Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. - 1 CORINTHIANS 9:26
Prayer has brought me through so much last year that words cannot express how much it means that you think of me. I think so much of all of you. My 2023 year end summary celebrated so many things that I didn’t mean to overshadow the costs of elevation. All God wants is all of us, and exploring the boundaries of that is what made 2023 such a difficult year. It is my desire to be effective with the time I have, but this is His story to tell…
In my 2023 post, I mentioned that we are in the midst of a mast season, “a year in which a tree or shrub (such as an oak, hickory, or hazel) growing in a particular region produces an unusually large number of fruits, seeds, or nuts.” We will need a lot of discernment for 2024, as all fruits are not valuable.
The focus word for 2024 is wisdom. Which means a few things:
Leading by example: “what we are in our letters when we are absent, we will be in our actions when we are present.”
Cultivating culture: “where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”
Reducing waste: “You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.”
One thing I feel strongly is, not the call to be a leader, but the commitment of whether I want to be a leader. Needless to say, I have never been an intentional leader, but I would lead when needed. One thing I learned over the pandemic was the disappointing reality of how many Christians strive to receive recognition, but none would take responsibility when things were hard. In my own arrogance, I would elevate myself for not needing recognition, but also not wanting to be responsible either.
The reason I feel the things I do are unspectacular is that I don’t pay much attention to value and waste. I follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, and don’t bother to understand why. Maybe the intentionality of leadership implies that I am taking responsibility that I don’t want. It requires effort and thoughtfulness. It requires wisdom.
I’ve deputized myself with the life-mission of teaching others how to love with all our minds, and to spare myself from being a hypocrite, God is asking me if I want to pay the dues of understanding why things should be and not just what should be.
Since my last prayer update was in 2022, there’s a bit to catch up on, but I can summarize here…
God sustains me in the heart of AI. From mass layoffs to technology booms, it’s a miracle that God still has me here. In the last 6 months I had reached out to receive prayer for the largest spiritual giants I know— I might as well have had the pope praying. Seeing how competitive things have become, it’s nothing short of a miracle that I am here, unscathed. I remember standing in the kitchen mid-2023 and hearing God say, “I am about to show you how influence can be misused, because I want you to do better.” Each day is a gift, so I hope to show appreciation to the Giver of gifts by respecting my opportunities. This song got me through…
Love is patient, caring. Love is Kind. Love is felt most when
It's genuine, but I've had my share of love abused, manipulated
And it's strength misused, and I can't help but give you glory,
When I think about my story, and I know you favored me
Because my enemies did try but couldn't triumph over me
Yes they did try but couldn't triumph over me.They whispered, conspired, they told their lies (God favors me)
My character, my integrity, my faith in God (He favors me)
Will not fall, will not bend, won't compromise (God favors me)
I speak life and prosperity and I speak health (God favors me)
Inviting my leaders into prayer. In the midst of the 2023 storm, I was asked, “what were you like a year ago?,” and a year ago from that moment was the day we met with the Gospel choir that premiered at the Monterey Jazz Fest. I had asked that you all pray for the executives attending in my 2022 update. I knew we had to pray before the event, so we “circled up” and had the leaders from my workplace join in. Afterwards, a director said that she was covered in goosebumps, and had never experienced anything like that time of prayer before. We prayed as a group of professionals over these student choir members, blessing their careers and freely giving, what we’ve been freely given.
Having a platform to preach. I opened my first sermon with, “if you knew me from before, you’d think I’d be the last person standing up here.” I spoke about the “basics of being extra.” At the end, I prayed an activation over the congregation that they know their everything is enough, even when not much is all we can do. I was a bit worried because they were in the midst of a revival of baptisms, and I didn’t want to break the streak, but when the invitation went out, I recall 6-8 people standing to be baptized.
Having platforms to speak. I was invited to do a lot of speaking. Mostly because there’s currently a niche area between faith and Artificial Intelligence. You can see some of the talks and interviews I did at sherol.org. I presented a secular gatherings like NeurIPS and CHI and co-chaired the Doctoral Consortium at ICIDS. I was invited to speak for events like All Bay Area (an All America event), plenary speaker for Azusa Pacific University, The Gathering, CV Digital Day, and Connect Silicon Valley. I was even interviewed for Christianity Today.
Passion Talks 2022 and 2023. Passion Talks 2022 was the first time I really felt like we are receiving the new wine. To me, this “new wine” means shifting from “Kingdom building” to “Metropolis building.” For Passion Talks 2023, we co-located with a workplace leadership retreat with special guest, Stacey Campbell.
Some other Marketplace Miracles.
The more secure my identity, the more natural it is to openly do God’s work anywhere. Step #1, it’s all God’s work, every line of code, every email.
When I have something to say to a leader, I do my best to communicate it. I’d said to a few leaders in the AI space to be careful not to clean only the outside of the cup. In one instance, this word gave pause to the leader, wondering if people truly felt they had enough hope; in another, a leader said this described exactly what they had been feeling.
A coworker had an arm injury, and I asked to pray for healing, she said she felt the pain go numb (the “tingle”) while I was praying, and that reminded her of when her grandpa used to pray for her as a child.
On another instance, I was leaving my building for end the year. I said goodbye to the receptionist fondly known as “Peter the greeter,” and felt God saying that he had been pouring out to others all year, and that 2024 his kindness will be returned to him. When I told him, Peter started crying, saying that I had no idea the year he’s had, and thanked me as my rideshare arrived to pick me up. Praise God that He still uses me in this way.
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. - James 1:5
My biggest worry is generating waste; that I’m somehow misaligned with God. So the biggest prayer is that I grow even more faith to receive the wisdom I need, according to James 1:5.
Preaching (again) March 10th at Newsong Church on Sunday morning. I’m once again terrified at the thought of putting myself out there, but what is love if it doesn’t come at a cost? What is faith if it is never tested?
Pray for Artificial Intelligence, my work, my team, my leaders. It was not any brilliance or effort on my part that has me here, and it will not be anything I do to keep myself where I am. Pray that I am able to effectively uncover and leverage truth and understanding in all that I do.
Monterey Jazz Festival. I think my story, my journey, my participation in the arts feels similarly anomalous. I was at the board of directors retreat in the midst of discussions around celebrities, grants, and foundations, feeling quite a bit unlike the others. 🤷♀️ Pray for a jazz revival!
Passion Talks 2024 will be more focused than ever. Pray for the core team. Pray for simplicity and elegance, low effort and high returns.
Pray for family health. My family needs a bit of covering. A few people are dealing with mysterious conditions. Break any generational chains, and stand in agreement for total and sustained healing of the heart, soul, mind, and body.
Leadership, faith, and wisdom. Finally, pray for wisdom. I don’t want to put too much stock into invitations to speak or advise, but I’d rather focus on doing the things worth talking (writing) about. I’m still advising for Faith and Work Movement, and was recently invited to the advisory board of Transforming the Bay with Christ (TBC)! Pray that I have clarity on which commitments to make, generating value, reducing waste, rather than running aimlessly for the crowns that do not last.
What I realized about myself is not whether I am accomplished or not, diligent or lazy, but that I am confined by my own impatience. Understanding comes at the cost of speed. Sometimes we aren’t meant to do all the things at once, but to understand the one thing in front of us. Most of all, pray for alignment and discernment, for the wisdom to know what is important in the present and prophetic depth perception so that my sense of urgency is better calibrated.
Sorry for such a long update, but thank you for being with me all these years. Until next time, I wanted to leave you with my newly found inspiration, Dr. George Washington Carver. My harvest is your harvest, Dr. Sherol Chen.
"Years ago I went into my laboratory and said, 'Dear Mr. Creator, please tell me what the universe was made for?'
The Great Creator answered, 'You want to know too much for that little mind of yours. Ask for something more your size, little man.'
Then I asked, 'Please, Mr. Creator, tell me what man was made for.'
Again the Great Creator replied, 'You are still asking too much. Cut down on the extent and improve the intent.'
... So then I asked, 'Please, Mr. Creator, will you tell me why the peanut was made?'
'That's better, but even then it's infinite. What do you want to know about the peanut?'
'Mr. Creator, can I make milk out of the peanut?'
'What kind of milk do you want? Good Jersey milk or just plain boarding house milk?'
'Good Jersey milk.'
And then the Great Creator taught me to take the peanut apart and put it together again. And out of the process have come forth all these products!"
Dr. George Washington Carver, 1920. Young Men’s Christian Association in Blue Ridge, North Carolina.
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