A Glitter Tornado is Still a Tornado

There seems to be a pattern in my life: I set a writing goal with the best of intentions and then life laughs uproariously at me while absolultely kicking my ass. Then I feel like a terrible human for falling short of my writing goal.

I’m not sure why I thought things would be different with Substack, yet here we are.

I have so much I want to write about, so many things I’d like to use my voice for, that I set a goal of writing one article a week. I didn’t build out all of the paid subscriber stuff. I don’t promote on social media. I don’t do pretty much any of the things I “should” do, and didn’t even try to say I would. Just one article a week. It’s now been a month since my last post.

There are a few reasons for this. For one, I’m working on a major editing project. I don’t usually take on editing clients, and I’m now remembering why. No matter how good the author, editing takes a ton of time and is exhausting. I’m not talking about copy editing or spotting typos—I do that all the time, even when I don’t mean to. I mean major developmental editing. There is a mental drain to it that’s hard to explain. It can be gratifying, to be sure, but it comes at a cost.

I’d already agreed to the editing project when I received a job offer I could not pass up: I’m now an assistant librarian at my local library. It’s a huge library system with so many amazing resources that benefit the entire community. I’m still in a state of disbelief that I got the job and get to spend my days a part of something so freaking cool. And I get to sort books. So many beautiful books to be checked in and reshelved and I get to do it every day. Somebody pinch me.

But the flip side of that is that I’m working outside the home for the first time since Covid. I don’t really count my time zigzagging the country as “working outside the home” because I had Justin (my husband) and Fred (our dog) with me the entire time. As much as I love my new job and know I’m lucky to have it—and the health insurance that goes with it—I am overwhelmed by all of the new things in my life and part of me wants to run away and hide (with my dog, of course).

But the biggest change in our life by far is that Justin’s 14-year-old daughter has decided to come live with us. There’s a whole lot there that isn’t for me to share or discuss, but I will say it’s an adjustment. One of my dearest friends asked yesterday how that transition is going. I told her it was like a whirlwind of sunshine and glitter had come into our lives.

She looked at me with the depth of calm and wisdom I’ve always admired in her and said, “A glitter tornado is still a tornado.”

I’m not sure any words have ever felt truer.

So, while I am navigating all of the things above—and my own health issues and my aging mother and our extremely complicated relationship—I think I’ll adjust my goal to writing here once a month. If that isn’t doable, then there is a very real possibility I’ll load my dog and cat in my camper van and run away. I have no idea where I’ll go, but it’ll probably have a beach. And if there’s WiFi, I’ll do my very best to check in.

No promises.