How-To #03: Tame Worry with 3 Words

When we first adopted our dog, Max, I had a bit of a panic attack. Our sweet, elderly golden retriever had passed away nine months before and we had grown so used to her calm demeanor. Welcoming Max into our family (while trying to navigate Covid-times with three kids 6 and under) was a little more stressful than I had anticipated—he was so sweet, but also so energetic and sometimes a bit naughty. After a few weeks, we knew we needed some guidance and I reached out to a reputable dog trainer in our area. What I didn’t expect is that the trainer would not only help Max, but would help me for years to come with three little words:

Action over anxiety.

That’s what he said to me, as I lamented that I was worried about this, and but what if that. He made the answer to the never-ending spinning wheel of worry in my head seem simple: if something worries you or makes you anxious, take a single step of action. Instead of endlessly fretting over our stressful new situation, by making a call to a trainer and getting the support we needed, I had re-set our trajectory. Not only was the training just what we needed for Max, but I have carried those three words with me—and repeated them often to myself and others—ever since.

And it’s so true, right? The quickest way to make ourselves feel better about something that we’re worried about is to do something about it. It doesn’t need to be a massive leap, just one step instantly puts us back in charge and empowers us. Toothache? Call the dentist. Worried you’ll never pass that exam? Set aside specific time to study, or call a tutor. Anxious about a friendship dilemma? Draft a text. The point is: worrying by itself gets us nowhere, and taking action moves us one step in the right direction.

Just over a year ago, our trainer and the source of that powerful mantra, Pat Quinn, passed away in an auto accident. When I heard of his passing, those three words immediately echoed in my mind. Sometimes we don’t know the true impact of what we say or share with others, and on top of his already impressive legacy, his advice will stay with me always. Hopefully it helps you when you need it, too.