Linda, my health-coaching client, called me in tears.
Two days earlier, her father had been seen at the ER and was admitted for a GI bleed. She became aware that he wasn’t receiving daily ventilator treatments for his chronic pulmonary disease. When she asked the nurses about it, they said: “We see the order, but his oxygen levels look fine, so we can’t activate it.”
Linda and her mother knew this was not correct. He needed daily treatments. Out of desperation, Linda’s mother called her husband’s pulmonologist, only to be told that the doctor didn’t have privileges at that hospital.
“What can I do now?” Linda asked.
In that moment, she knew the “system” wasn’t listening — not to her, not to her father or mother, and in her perception, not even to the orders that had been placed.
One-to-one Health Coaching is based in trust, partnership, and listening. We began our conversation first by giving Linda space to share her story and her feelings. After validating her concerns and feelings, we began to sort out the story.
Linda had expectations that the bedside staff would be more responsive to her requests. I gave her information about how hospital departments work and the limitations of various positions. While it is true, an exceptional bedside caregiver could have advocated for Linda and her father, but it is possible they did not act because they saw no threat or danger, since his vitals met all levels according to the orders in place.
Once Linda began to see how responsibilities are carved up, she began to calm down. She decided to ask more questions of the staff and learn when the hospital doctor made rounds. She felt more confident because she recognized that there was a system in place. The most reasonable thing she could do was begin by asking to speak to a person who had some authority above the bedside staff. She shifted her expectations and her mindset from victim to determined problem-solver.
The next day, Linda called me back.
“Patti! Success!”
“I just spoke to the hospital doctor, and he wasn’t aware of the full story. He is changing the orders to have the correct test to be done so the treatments can be given.”
“Thank you! Your coaching helped shift my energy, which changed my focus, and my understanding!”
A healthcare system intends to be a place for healing, but it often becomes filled with perplexing dilemmas and sometimes leads to quiet resignation and compromise. Patients bring symptoms, concerns, and lived history, yet too often they walk out feeling unheard - not because providers don’t care, but because both sides are caught in a rigid system shaped by rules, dogma, profit, and hidden pressures.
This is where silent passivity and prolonged resistance begin. It’s not about patient or provider apathy. It is about survival in a rigid system that is no longer working.
Who? Patti Wohlin, a functional health coach and retired provider. She has seen this dynamic from both sides of the stethoscope and understands the systems that create these moments.
Sophie Guenon, a food scientist and Nutrition Coach. Sophie brings the food science and nutrition literacy that most people never get in a standard appointment.
We’re going to talk about:
Why feeling powerless makes complete sense
Where your real power lives (hint: it’s not arguing with doctors or doing more research alone)
What changes when you shift your mindset from frustrated patient to self-assured advocate, with effective language, and support.
This conversation is for anyone who has ever walked out of an appointment thinking, “I should have said something.”
You’ll hear more from both of us this week. For now, just know: if you’ve ever felt unheard in a healthcare setting, that tells you more about the system and your need to find effective helpers.
Patti and Sophie
P.S. Read more about why patients feel stuck: healthkeepersunited.substack.com/p/blind-spots-in-medicine
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