I’m thrilled to welcome you to the first issue of Advice-ish! a monthly column for paid subscribers. As a reminder, beyond a bachelor’s degree for a major I literally made up and my drivers licenses, I have no degrees or licenses. I am a CSA survivor who has supported thousands of other survivors in their healing and approach everything from a survivor-to-survivor perspective. And as the child of two attorneys I must add that this column is not a substitute for therapy from a licensed clinician and none of this is medical advice!
Every once in a while I forget that I don’t want to forgive my parents, and I have to go through the grief and acceptance all over again. How do I stop this cycle? -Mark
Hi Mark!
I hear you loud and clear on this question and the feeling like you are constantly re-litigating your past. It’s like doing some sort of endless trauma math of adding up all the factors again and again to see if maybe it equals something different this time. I totally understand how exhausting it is and I also understand the deep desire to finally feel some sort of peace around our relationships with our parents. I have two points I want to offer you, the first for if you’re re-assessing because your life is changing, the second for if you’re re-assessing because you’re triggered as shit.

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