Masculinity is a funny thing, especially in 2024. I grew up in an era of boy toys and girl toys. Boy TV and girl TV. Boy stories and girl stories. Words like “manly” and “macho” were thrown around freely, while doing “girly” things was looked down on by the male figures in life. And yet, I never liked that world.
I’ve always found it easier to be friends with women. I loved playing house with the girl across the street growing up. She made the most delightful mud pies that we pretended to eat. As I grew up, I found a love for Broadway musicals, movies and TV shows classically considered as female-facing, and, eventually, being pampered.
For years, though, I didn’t really talk about that side of my life because, well, it wasn’t cool and “manly.” I didn’t deny a part of myself or anything, it just largely wasn’t who I was, as presented to the world. Except for my love of musicals. I could never keep that locked away.
Then some things changed. For one, I met and grew close to a life partner who not only respects the side of me that isn’t masculine but encourages it! My partner, Niki, introduced me to getting my fingers painted, skincare routines, and even helped me love the idea of going to a salon for my hair. I love these things and never want to leave them behind.
I feel we are moving toward a time where those things are more accepted by men, especially by younger generations. As someone who grew up in a time when one of the biggest shows for children was called HE-MAN, I never expected that would be accepted.
But it all, ultimately, falls under the category of self-care. Self-care is literally anything you do to make yourself feel better. Burning time scrolling through TikTok or YouTube? That’s self-care. Buying yourself a treat after a long day or week? Self-care. Allowing yourself a couple extra hours of sleep on a Saturday morning? You got it, that’s self-care.
Getting your nails painted? Spending hours at a salon while your stylist tries to find the right color for your hair? Belting out the lyrics to Sweeney Todd in your car at a stoplight? That’s all self-care.
When I get my nails painted (I’m still not great at doing it for myself), I feel better and more like myself. It makes me want to dress in my favorite outfit and go out into the world. It makes me want to dance around my living room to Olivia Rodrigo’s new album because, dammit, that sounds fun and relaxing. And Guts is a super banger record
Is any of this normal for a 42-year-old man in Florida? Who cares? I’m the most comfortable and feel the most “me” I’ve ever felt. And coming off of a year where I had bariatric surgery and am starting to see the real me buried under a lifetime of obesity, I think it’s exciting.
And that’s not to say my life as a bigger guy, which I plan to write about in much more detail soon, was a lie. I always was who I was. I just feel so much better about embracing it and talking about it now. And, in doing so, finding other things I love. Seriously, do you know about hand and foot masks? I thought manicures were wild.
All this to say, let’s make 2024 a year where we embrace who we are and what we love, even if it’s not the norm. And I know, speaking to a younger audience, you all know this. This message isn’t for you. Your piers are typically far more accepting of humans.
For me, a dude born in 1981, though? I feel awesome. And I look dope as hell. So go paint your nails and color your hair. It rocks.
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