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HAD · Aug 5, 2026

recently i started measuring everything in ribs

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At first it was just height, like making sure the basketball hoop where I practice my windmill dunks sits at a relatively impressive twenty-four ribs, or pledging not to date anyone shorter than the national average of just over sixteen ribs tall. But lately I’ve started using ribs to measure everything. When I bought my truck I made the dealer pinky promise it had horsepower equivalent to…

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