How to De-influence Your Home

I don’t know about you, but more than ever, normal feels good. I’ve learned that life is sweeter when life is normal. Not normal boring, but normal, no drama. And normal without the drama is when life is good. I am content. My family are content. Yet, the internet has seriously distorted our idea of what a normal life and a normal home look like.

Scrolling on Instagram makes my eyes hurt from the explosion of wallpapers and colour combinations and so many details to consider. The time and money needed to create a home that will look dated in a few years, maybe even months, leaves me feeling heavy. I’ve seen firsthand how people think their home isn’t good enough, all because of someone else’s opinion or home.

Where really a normal home is enough. Somewhere in the middle with no extremes, no pressure to perform, to maxx or optimise. No strict frameworks or schedules, just everyday life with no negative emotions attached to cleaning, decorating, renovating or upgrading it. Normal has no agenda other than to encourage you to get on with your life and enjoy it.

Normal life is different from living a slow life or following the lived-in trend. Both still feel performative or contrived, entailing a list of must-haves to make it count. Normal has no expectations.

A normal home looks and feels good, without really noticing why. It fades into the background so your life and people are the only thing you do notice. Their conversations are louder than the decor.

In a normal home, you only choose paint colours because you like them and they calm your nervous system. You paint it, forget about it and move on. Only refreshing, never repainting because someone made you feel it was wrong.

Your furniture has moved many homes with you, and you chose your sofa because it’s comfy and big enough for all your favourite people and pets.

Everyone loves to hang out and stay longer than planned because it feels normal, with no performance, no need to be anything other than themselves.

It looks like you live there, not styled to look like you do. Working for the life you actually live. It doesn’t make any bold design statements or follow trends. It is never in or out of fashion.

You live there. You feel safe there. You are happy there. It is just home. A normal home.

I wish some of the bigger accounts thought more carefully about the effect they have on their followers. What might gain them traction can leave someone feeling their home is missing something or ashamed for how it looks.

We can’t control what they share, but we can control how much we believe, who we follow and when we decide we've seen enough. Keeping our wise mind firmly switched on when we scroll and knowing we can step away at any point.

Things worth remembering before you believe what the internet is telling you.

Beware what you believe:

• Almost none of what you see online is normal or true.

• Remember you’re seeing someone’s carefully curated content, not real life.

• If interior text sounds similar, it’s probably AI-generated and not genuine advice: space, truly, simply, quietly, cosy corners, grounded or layered.

• Holding a fluffy microphone doesn’t make someone an expert.

Save your cash and don’t take the bait:

• Remember, when you’re scrolling, you’re a potential customer.

• If they are gatekeeping, they are selling. Don’t comment for more details.

• Even if you’re curious, don’t click the links.

• Linking everything because everyone is asking. No one is asking.

• Take I can’t live without… with a pinch of salt.

• You don’t need to buy seasonal homeware or do a seasonal refresh.

• They're paid to love the product they’ve only just received.

• Don’t watch their Shopping hauls.

• Ignore the Style swaps.

• Scroll past the Sunday scrolls.

• Ignore all the paint colours they’ve used in their home, as your home is different and probably won’t work.

Open your eyes to made-up trends:

• Unfollow influencers and interior designers who look the same.

• Choose accounts that inspire you to think, not to copy.

• Cafe curtains are great until you realise you don’t live in a cafe.

• Banquettes are back until they’re not.

• No hill is worth dying on for homeware.

• Ignore in or out lists.

• What you consider Good taste is all that matters.

• What you consider Timeless is all that matters.

• Ignore EVERY tiling trend. Tiles are expensive and difficult to install or remove.

• Your home is not missing contrast, weight, height, weird or any other confusing term.

• Your home doesn’t need a theme or a specific style; your life is the theme.

• Designing your home to make your friends jealous isn’t cool.

• Ignore that good design should make you feel nervous… makes you happy is healthier.

Listen to yourself instead:

• Your shelves don’t need to look like an LA interiors store.

• Your home doesn’t need to look like you hired an interior designer.

• You don’t need to try so hard. When it stops being fun, move on.

• Ignore them if they think your home looks cheap or dated.

• Ignore their lists of things that are missing, make a big difference, make it look expensive, a fail, or a room feel off.

• It’s just someone’s opinion, and it can be ignored… mine included!

• Is it only a mistake because someone told you it was?

• Your home doesn’t need a system or a framework; you’re human, not a robot.

• It’s okay to be different. We’re not the same; our homes don’t need to be either.

Being comfortable with normal means knowing your home is enough and caring less about what anyone else thinks or is doing. When you love a normal home, the pressure will disappear, and home feels good. Life is good.

My four steps on how your home can slip into the background. Leaving you more time to get on with living your life:

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