# HaloZest Fast, fun, & faith-inspired stuff by Catholics. Let's put some zest back in your halo! Page: Feed: --- ## [10 Times Jesus Tore a Hole in the World (and Heaven Leaked Through)](https://halozest.substack.com/p/10-times-jesus-tore-a-hole-in-the) _2026-03-01 · Dominic de Souza_ Jesus the Wonder-Maker: Magic, Miracles, and the Kingdom that Flattened the Locals ## [Carpenter Influencers Suspiciously Silent After Jesus’ Death; Empty Tomb Listed as Luxury Property](https://halozest.substack.com/p/carpenter-influencers-suspiciously) _2025-04-23 · Dominic de Souza_ We humans will do anything we can to miss the point. We're so good at getting it wrong. ## [Proof That Jesus Invented the Spiritual Mic Drop: 16 Gospel Moments That Would Break Catholic Twitter (Part 2)](https://halozest.substack.com/p/proof-that-jesus-invented-the-spiritual) _2025-04-12 · Dominic de Souza_ Yes, Jesus is Love. He’s Also Not Afraid to Call You a Crusty Dish If You’re Acting Fake Holy (Luke 11 Receipts Inside) ## [If You Think Jesus Was Just Sweet and Gentle... These Savage Roasts and Comebacks Will Change Your Mind (Part 1)](https://halozest.substack.com/p/if-you-think-jesus-was-just-sweet) _2025-04-05 · Dominic de Souza_ We Ranked the Most Brutal Things Jesus Said—and Honestly, We’re Still Recovering. #12 Will Make You Drop Your Gnat and Spit Out Your Cumin ## [Local Carpenter Quietly Saves World, Refuses Interview](https://halozest.substack.com/p/local-carpenter-quietly-saves-world) _2025-03-19 · Dominic de Souza_ NAZARETH — In a stunning investigative report, we have uncovered the greatest unsung hero of all time: Joseph of Nazareth. ## [Breaking News: Lent Sparks Civil War and Chocolate Sales Crash in the Catholic Nation of Sancta Ecclesia](https://halozest.substack.com/p/breaking-news-lent-sparks-civil-war) _2025-03-13 · Dominic de Souza_ More news no one asked for, from HaloZest Reporters on Location Between Florin and Genovia ## [Widespread Concern as Prophets May be Reincarnating—Performing Miracles Instead of Just Complaining Like Normal People](https://halozest.substack.com/p/widespread-concern-as-prophets-may) _2025-03-09 · Dominic de Souza_ BREAKING: Is That Elijah? Jeremiah? Or Some Other Problematic Miracle Worker? The Hebrews Can’t Figure Out What Jesus Wants - HaloZest News ## [Lent Begins: Catholics Already Lament the Loss of Chocolate and Cheer](https://halozest.substack.com/p/lenten-begins-catholics-already-lament) _2025-03-05 · Dominic de Souza_ The Annual 40-Day Sadness Spiral after finally forgetting our New Years Resolutions | By HaloZest News Service ## [Jesus’ “Eye Beam” Teaching Sparks Economic Boom in Carpentry and Optometry](https://halozest.substack.com/p/jesus-eye-beam-teaching-sparks-economic) _2025-03-03 · Dominic de Souza_ HaloZest News reports lumber sales skyrocket, carpenters work overtime, and eye doctors face a surge in “beam removal” requests ## [Browse ThreatCrush Modules (Sponsored)](https://crawlproof.com/a/xzannSwUJM6o) _2025-03-03 · **Sponsored**_ Install community-built security modules to extend real-time threat intelligence and monitoring ## [80+ Clean Books That Are Also EPIC](https://halozest.substack.com/p/80-clean-books-that-are-also-epic) _2025-03-02 · Gabriella Batel_ So, I was recently alerted that there are some members of our community who are dying for some clean but awesome reads.