Jeffrey Alan Marks is an interior designer I discovered when the show Million Dollar Decorators aired in the early 2000’s (highly recommend - it’s available on Netflix). When describing his approach, he said something to the tune of I like to leave one thing in every room to chance, because having something random or unexpected makes the room feel right.
In other words, when not everything is perfectly curated, it yields a result that is surprisingly better (more interesting, richer, unexpected) than if every last thing is thoughtfully, actively chosen.
In the TV show, he designed a restaurant, and the owner insisted on using these dark wood bar stools that were a very different vibe than his mood board. At first, Jeffrey was like, these are hideous. But the owner (who was otherwise hands-off with the design) could not be swayed. On the day of the install, the refined, light, airy concept came to physical fruition, layer by layer. And when the bar stools were placed, they wound up being the thing that brought the room together. They gave the space soul and made it feel like it had been there a long time.
I’ve always remembered this concept, and I keep thinking about it. How leaving things to chance, being open minded, and allowing (rather than actively choosing) can unlock incredible outcomes, not only in design, but in relationships, career, and other areas of your life. I experienced this for the first time by accident fairly recently.
Let me explain.
Throughout my 30’s, I was hyper intentional, specific, and thoughtful about friendships, my career, who I dated, where I lived, the list goes on. Carefully curating every single thing in my life seemed like a great plan, but it didn’t quite work out:
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