Letters from Madrid - Part 8

I wasn’t sure exactly how I would empty out my apartment in New York last month. I just knew I had 2.5 weeks to do it.

I ended up starting with my closet because who doesn’t love to try on clothes. And honestly, almost every time I’ve done that, I’ve discovered some cool stuff that I totally forgot I owned.

That process took me about 2-3 days. I ended up giving away at least half of the things I owned. Maybe more. Some stuff was never even worn (still had the tags). Other stuff did not fit and probably won’t ever fit me again. And some stuff was just no longer my style.

I’m so grateful that my good friend took them all. She even kept a few items for herself. There’s nothing like getting rid of stuff and knowing that it’s going to a person who will love and care for it the way you did.

We even went out for dinner together one night and she wore one of the dresses I gave away. It looked so nice on her. I love when that happens. My heart was full.

Next I tackled my shoes. Then my books. My artwork. The stuff in the kitchen. My sock and underwear drawer. And finally the bathroom.

I lived in a studio apartment. I mean, how much stuff could I have??

I learned the answer to that question. Turns out, a lot.

And yet two days before my flight home, the apartment was completely empty.

A ton of stuff was given away. I stored about 8 containers of my things between two of my friends, and left a suitcase with my cousin.

That’s it. That’s what’s left of my NY life.

What was the hardest to let go of? A few things.

• My world map. I know, I know. That sounds so odd but I love my map. I love looking at where things are in relation to each other. I love hearing about a country or conflict and then seeing exactly where it is and better understanding the context. I love learning about the specific parts of Africa that show up in my 23andMe results and then seeing why it makes total sense that I would have roots there, given how close West African countries are to the Caribbean. So yeah, I miss my map. My friend is “holding it” for me until I have a place in the US again.

• My step ladder. I know this one really sounds weird. But it’s a nice ladder that I got in Williams Sonoma. It folds all the way flat and that’s hard to come by in a ladder. Plus my ex-husband desperately wanted to keep it when we got divorced and that made me love it even more. It’s been with me since before my 2nd marriage. Maybe 20+ years. It’s seen a lot. And I will miss it very much. My friend is also “holding it” for me until I have a place in the US again.

• My linen trunk. This one you have to see to appreciate. It’s a piece of shit trunk that I bought in like Target or someplace equivalent eons ago. At some point, I decided to decorate it with stickers. And ever since, it has become one of my prized possessions. I love it and I thought I was going to have to let it go. But then I texted my friend with a pic of it and asked “do we have enough room for this trunk”? And he responded, “we’ll make room”. And that’s exactly why he’s my friend. Because who says that. I AM BLESSED.

I’m back in Madrid now. For almost two weeks. I brought back 2 large suitcases (right at 50 lbs) and 2 handbags. Plus I mailed myself a suitcase. That’s the bulk of what I plan to bring to Spain. I also left a large suitcase with my cousin which I plan to pick up in September. I bought the suitcase when I was there and can we talk about how cute this color is??? Kinda reminds me of my book cover. What, what!

My yellow maleta is filled with winter stuff like coats, boots, sweatshirts and sweaters. Stuff I didn’t need right away but that I wanted to have here with me.

Other than that, I got what I need here. And then some.

I’m sad I won’t be able to move out of my current apartment with just my suitcases and a few shopping bags like I did when I moved out of my Air BnB back in February. I’m going to need containers or boxes because your girl has possessions for days.

As much as I have always tried to resist accumulating things, it’s been something really hard to manage because somehow I equate abundance with comfort and security.

Plus I really love shoes and clothes 😝

As I leave behind my NY apartment and step more fully into my life as a Spanish resident, I’m feeling OK.

Not sad.

Not elated.

More like somewhere in the middle.

A little looser.

A little more free.

A little less tied down.

A little more excited about what comes next.

And so to my cositas, some of which I will never see again…

I’ll miss you.

I’ll remember you fondly.

I hope you will have a good life with your new owner.

May you bring them joy and happiness.

May they appreciate you and be grateful for what you bring.

And may you always know that I picked you.

And that you were loved.

Hady Méndez is an award-winning author, speaker, and leadership coach who helps career-minded women and emerging leaders find their voice and advocate for themselves. Want to work together? Visit boldlyspeakingllc.com to learn more.