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#102 - The Sufficiency Paradox
Do you ever ask yourself, what is the point? Why do we work hard to earn money to buy things we don’t need? I’ve been asking myself that question for years, and I still don’t know the answer. Lately, the YouTube algorithm has been feeding me videos about EDC items you can’t live without and ten things you should own that will last a lifetime. Some have value. Most miss the point, which makes me…
#101 - The Three-Month Hypothesis
“Things haven’t really gone in the right direction. Have you considered a statin?” I had my annual diabetes health check this week. I know, and have known for quite some time, that I need to do more to address my health issues. I have a list as long as your arm of diabetes-related maladies to manage. The nurse knows it, and so do I. “Yeah, but I don’t want to change or increase the medication I’m…
#100 - The Context Collapse
I never named anybody. It didn’t matter. They recognised themselves. Or they thought they did, which amounts to much the same thing once somebody has decided that a sentence on the internet is definitely about them. Explaining that it wasn’t did not help. It probably made things worse. I was no longer merely a dangerous blogger. I was now a lying dangerous blogger who refused to admit that…
#99 - The Space Between Spaces
Sometimes I wonder whether I got into trouble at some of the places I have worked because I am more intelligent than some of the people around me. There. I have written it down. It looks bloody awful. Arrogant, elitist and exactly the sort of thing said by somebody who has recently watched a twelve-minute YouTube video about misunderstood geniuses. I am not saying I am better than everyone else. I…
#98 - The Niche Resolution
Nearly six years ago, I wrote a short piece on Medium called How Do I Find My Niche? I had been spreading myself too thin. This was not an unusual state of affairs. I had started a Substack newsletter and filled it with sections about cars, motorcycles, travel, television and anything else that wandered across my field of vision. The problem, as I saw it then, was that none of it fitted neatly…
#97 - The case for having an imperfect memory – a psychologist explains
The case for having an imperfect memory – a psychologist explains 365daysStudios/Shutterstock Gillian Murphy , University College Cork Think back to your time at school. Were you hard-working, popular, anxious? And what exam grades did you get? Now, imagine someone pulls out your school reports from that time. How closely would they match the results you just brought to mind? If your recollections…
#96 - The Levitation Conductor
I went to bed for half an hour this afternoon and woke up four hours later. That was not the plan. Somewhere in the middle of it all, a train conductor taught me how to levitate. I cannot remember whether this was part of the normal service or whether I had been upgraded. At one point, it snowed. Meanwhile, my body was doing something almost as strange. When I lie down, the coughing stops, and my…
#95 - The Insurance Fluctuation
Things have moved pretty fast with our house purchase. Just last week, we received the news that the Land Registry had been updated to show Rhona and me as the owners of our small cottage in Adisham. What an achievement. The only fly in the ointment has been insurance. Specifically, life insurance for me. I have Type 2 diabetes, raised blood pressure and high cholesterol. Oh yeah, I’m overweight…
#94 - Is recursive self‑improvement the dawning of AI superintelligence?
Is recursive self‑improvement the dawning of AI superintelligence? freedom100m/Shutterstock Michael G. Madden , University of Galway and James McDermott , University of Galway The US AI research company Anthropic has become known for building powerful AI models while simultaneously warning about their dangers. Read more
#93 - The Four Agreements Approximation
I'm not a religious man. I do, however, hold to the theory that the universe is a living system, and we, by extension, are a reflection, or possibly the evolution of the universal consciousness. I picked up and read The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz again this week. It's not a long read, but it is very relevant to this post. Here's what the book is about. The Four Agreements is a simple guide…
#92 - My Space
My desk, in our summer house, in our garden. This is my writing desk. From here, I write and create music, listen to music and think deeply. I am happiest here.
#91 - The Descendant Hypothesis
I often wonder why. Why do I do what I'm doing? Why do I not do certain things anymore? Why don't people like me? Why don't I like people? Why am I writing this blog? This question is probably the easiest to answer. A few years ago, I became interested in telling my story. My life has been a rollercoaster ride. The highs and lows have caused great joy, deep sadness, and turmoil. But the ride is…
#90 - The Surgery Threshold
Early 2025 This is not another full surgery post. That story already exists elsewhere on this site. This is the bridge between the long archive and the present-day recovery. By the time the archive reaches this point, the thread is clear. Health stopped being background noise. It became the story. Read more
#89 - The 2024 Recovery Loop
January to November 2024 This piece gathers the main personal health and work posts from 2024. It was a year of returning, relapsing, adjusting, worrying, working, gaining weight, losing rhythm, facing the hip properly, then getting knocked sideways by Covid. Not a clean recovery. More of a loop. Read more
#88 - The Arthritis Adjustment
November to December 2023 This piece gathers the late-2023 health posts about arthritis, work, fear, fasting and another attempt to rebuild from what the body was saying rather than what the mind wanted to believe. Read more
#87 - We Made It to Germany
April to June 2023 This piece gathers a few short posts from spring 2023. Work had taken over. Health had improved. Money was still tight. Then, somehow, we made it across the Channel and gave Karta a few days in Germany. Read more
#86 - Settling Into the Work
January to March 2023 This piece gathers two updates from early 2023. After the health scare, the HGV licence, and the move into practical work, life began to settle into a different rhythm. Not easy. Not perfect. But steadier. Read more
#85 - The Trinity Year
2022 This piece gathers posts from 2022. It was the year health, work, and money stopped being abstract problems. The year began with village life, writing plans and another attempt to build a simple rhythm. By spring, an HGV medical exposed the truth. By winter, I was driving grain lorries across the south-east of England. Read more
#84 - The 2021 Transition
January to December 2021 This piece gathers a run of posts from 2021. The year began with lockdown, furlough, doubt and another attempt to find focus. It ended with a new home, a new job, night shifts, and a quieter attempt to make family life work. Read more
#83 - 2020 Sucked
Published 31 December 2020 Thank fuck for that. I managed to get through 2020 reasonably unscathed. As far as I know, I did not get Covid, which feels like an achievement in itself. Karta completed his first year of home education. I think he is where he needs to be, and he is progressing nicely. It has not always been easy, but then nothing about 2020 was easy. We also got our first full year in…
#82 - The Bittersweet Symphony
Published 19 October 2020 We moved to the countryside a year ago. We escaped from Planet Thanet. The overcrowding. The constant noise of cars, buses and pubs. We gained a garden, a garage, and the smells of rural living. We were gearing up for a year of adventures, near and far. Then a pandemic swept across the world and screwed up everyone’s plans. Our neighbours, although noisy at times, have…
#81 - The Lockdown Adjustment
March into June 2020 This piece gathers a small group of posts from the first months of lockdown. Home education had already begun. Then the world changed, and the fresh start we thought we were building became something else entirely. Read more
#80 - Educating Karta
January into February 2020 This piece gathers a small group of posts from early 2020. At the time, it felt like a fresh start: home education, slower days, more time together, and a chance to build something around Karta rather than forcing him to keep fitting into systems that no longer felt right. Read more
#79 - The Thanet Decoupling
Published 21 October 2019 After years of turmoil and uncertainty, we are finally on the move. When we first moved to Thanet in 2007, the area felt like an outpost to me. It was far enough from my former life, both in distance and atmosphere, that it felt like another world. For a while, that was exactly what we needed. Over time, though, things changed. Read more
#78 - The Gratitude Renormalization
Published 5 June 2019 Being in a financial hole is hard. There is no point pretending otherwise. The pressure to provide for your family sits with you every day. It follows you into the kitchen. It follows you into bed. It sits beside you when you open the banking app and try to make numbers behave. One way to stay sane when everything feels stacked against you is to look carefully at what is…
#77 - The Little Things
Published 9 January 2019 It is a funny thing when something forces you to reflect on the life you are living. Karta is growing fast. He is the teenager I always wish I could have been. I probably spoil him, but not in the usual way. I do not have bags of money to throw at him. What I do have is love, attention, and the desire to give him the kind of support I did not always have. My love for him…
#76 - The 2019 Re-evaluation
December 2018 into January 2019 This piece gathers a small cluster of posts from the turn of 2019. They were less about a single event and more about a shift in attitude: work, writing, money, learning, and the need to stop giving time away too cheaply. Read more
#75 - Hackett Five-O
Published 21 November 2018 So, I made it to fifty. The big five-o. At first, I thought I might not have made the best use of my time on this planet so far. But I was wrong. Read more