Maybe Save the Jokes for Your Standup Routine

Holy hell. My child finished sixth grade last week, which means she’ll be entering seventh grade in the fall.

Or, as she puts it, she’s a six/seventh grader.

(I am rolling my eyes so hard right now.)

This is a wild time. It feels as if so many of her peers are growing up so fast, yearning to look older, act older, be older.

Meanwhile, my own child still seems like… well… a child, one who prefers to engage in pretend play, who continues to eschew what she calls “belly shirts,” and who fake-retches every time she sees an onscreen kiss.

As you can see, we keep things light in my house. Jokes? We got ’em. And our child is fluent in sarcasm, too. So you’d think that we’d use that approach when talking about puberty, dating, the sexy-sex, and all the rest of it, especially to temper her resistance to anything that reeks of -`♡´-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-`♡´- romance --`♡´-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-`♡´-.

But the other month, the Journal of Sex Research published a study titled “Humor in Sexual Communication and Sexual Well-Being Outcomes Among Mother-Daughter Dyads,” co-authored by Schmil-Itzhak and Efrati, and the results showed that leaning on humor to make the sex talks more palatable might not actually be the best idea.

And when you dig into the results, it actually makes sense.

While teens who used humor during the sex talks felt more comfortable talking openly with their moms about sex, their moms’ attempts at humor fell flat. Researchers think this is because teens felt “diminished” when their moms joked about what, deep down, they saw as a serious topic. As a result, they felt less comfortable opening up to their moms going forward.

Makes sense, right?

As quick as I am with a joke around these parts, I think the most important thing to do when having these talks with your kiddos is to help them feel supported and affirmed and normal.

Just something to keep in mind in future conversations with your kid. 😘

In January, EducateUS set out to learn more about Americans’ support for sex ed, and trans-inclusive sex ed in particular. What they learned is that the vast majority of Americans still want schools to teach sex education that includes age-appropriate lessons on healthy relationships, anti-bullying, self-esteem and body image, and consent and boundaries, and that folks also support sex ed that is inclusive and affirming of transgender students.

You can learn more about their findings here, and in this piece Jaclyn Friedman wrote for WMC.

I am digging AMAZE’s latest videos, like this one on why deepfakes cause actual harm…:

… and this one on what to do when you have a crush (which features a ton of adorable clips from KPop Demon Hunters:

Browse AMAZE’s other offerings to find videos that tackle the things your kid is grappling with these days. Choose just one and share it with them… or perhaps even watch it together, using it as a jumping off point to have a larger convo on the topic.