Making At-Home Sex Ed a Team Effort

As you might imagine, I manage the lion’s share of sex ed in my household. I suppose it’s only natural, considering I write about sexuality on the regular, and also have multiple shelves devoted specially to sex ed books. In fact, just the other day, my 11-year-old told me that I should be her class’s health teacher, because “maybe we’ll actually learn something.” Best compliment ever?

But I feel that even if I didn’t write about sex and have a 3D model of a clitoris in my office, it would still fall to me. Because we have a daughter. And I’m the mom. And so often, we fall into these gendered roles when it comes to what we teach our kids.

But I feel as if this can be a trap. Because when we’re not willing to talk about what all humans experience, those experiences can turn into shameful secrets.

I think this is beautifully illustrated by this short film a friend shared with me, which you should watch for funsies, if for no other reason:

I know it’s over the top but, when you watch this, can you see how treating an entire process—one that’s natural to half the population—as taboo can spiral into complete ridiculousness?

When we’re willing to be open with each other about what’s going on in our bodies, those things can carry much less shame for us.

Could you imagine the impact it might have for a child if Mom talked matter-of-factly about wet dreams and Dad was cool as a cucumber when it came to periods?

On that note, check out this article in Parents that contains tips for dads on how to help when their kiddo has their first period.

How do you and your partner share the load when it comes to at-home sex ed?

Which topics do you feel most ill-equipped to handle?

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• Backwards legislation continues to be introduced across the country, including these two bills in Alabama that would mandate abstinence-only sex ed and require a poster of the Ten Commandments to be displayed in classrooms.

• And in better news, Congress just renewed funding for teen sexual health and sex education programs at last year’s levels.

• Let me start with a couple of service pieces. Here’s one containing tips on how to talk to your kid about porn.

• And because I want to keep doubling down on this information, here’s one on how to talk to your kids about ICE.

• And I am always such a huge fan of the materials Pleasure Pie puts out, and I especially love this zine containing an easy-as-pie lesson for kids on what “queer” means.

I don’t know about you, but I’m at the point in parenting where my child is juggling multiple devices, and I don’t love it. If you’re worried specifically about your child stumbling upon sexually explicit content, you might want to attend this free virtual session from Eyes Open Iowa’s Sex Ed Starts at Home series: Tech & Sexually Explicit Material: Protecting & Preparing Tweens/Teens.