Edition 27: Anxiety, Friction, and the Case for High-Functioning Humans

Most tribes try to eliminate emotional friction.

The best tribes optimise for it.

Because here’s the paradox: The same emotional intensity that triggers anxiety, volatility, or withdrawal in humans, when understood, becomes the most precise, predictive tool for high-performance tribe design.

I learned this the hard way.

End of 2009. LA and San Francisco.

I was in a meeting at Warner Bros in LA when it began, I didn’t sleep at all and flew from LA to San Francisco early the next morning. One sibling was in crisis. Pressures were mounting back home. I walked into Google in Mountain View met Megan Smith to pitch JK Rowling’s Pottermore, mid panic attack.

Held it together. Just.

Afterwards, I drove to San Francisco, collapsed at a friend’s house, and slept for 18 hours. His wife, a nurse, kept checking in on me. I didn’t know what was happening. I just knew something had snapped.

That moment cracked something open. It wasn’t weakness. It was signal. It’s put me in hospital 4 times since, the last being in 2018.

Seventeen years later, I’ve built a working philosophy around it.

Six years ago as I was just starting out with the humans, I wrote about grit, questioning whether high-performance traits were innate or learned through life’s pressures. I was asking the right questions but didn’t have the language yet. The chimp framework gave me that language, and building Group Of Humans gave me the laboratory to test it.

Dr. Steve Peters’ Chimp Paradox gave me the metaphor I needed. The chimp brain, emotional, instinctive, fast, exists in all of us. But it behaves differently in each of us.

Mine is a high-functioning perfectionist-rebel.

It doesn’t throw tantrums.

It withdraws. It over-functions. It resents inefficiency. It craves quality and melts down when things get sloppy or vague.

• Withdraws trust the moment someone spins

• Pushes back when rules feel performative

• Overdelivers, then burns out

• Charms under pressure, crashes in recovery

• Rebels quietly when leadership doesn’t earn respect

That’s my chimp. Yours may behave differently.

But in high-stakes work, everyone’s chimp shows up eventually.

Most tribes ignore it.

We don’t. We map it. We name it. We’re building a way of working around it.

Before I ever mapped tribal behaviour, I had to map my own. These five protocols weren’t theory, they were necessity. They’re how I’m learning to manage the part of me that reacts before it reasons.

These are my chimp management strategies. They might not be yours. But they work.

1. Pre-load trust criteria

If your scepticism is triggered by unpredictability, define what earns your trust upfront, reduce future friction.

2. Use delegation rituals

Your diligence and creativity make you a perfectionist. Define what “great” looks like, then release.

3. Name the chimp to yourself

When the chimp kicks in (e.g. “this is ridiculous”), pause and say: “That’s not me, it’s the chimp.”

4. Design pressure-release valves

Your chimp thrives under fast, bold movement, but burnout is a risk. Build protected flow time for your human brain to regroup.

5. Build a small circle who challenge you without triggering you

Your chimp resents “input” from fools, but you crave feedback from those you trust. Codify who gets to challenge your vision and when.

These aren’t life hacks.

They’re stabilisers. Boundaries for instinct. A behavioural contract I’ve had to write, and rewrite, with myself over years.

What surprised me was how well those same protocols showed up in tribal dynamics.

We’re now shaping them into a shared way of working inside Group Of Humans. Not a product. Not a platform. A behavioural framework, refined in practice, not in theory.

They’re not universally applicable. But they’re a starting point for designing emotionally clear tribes:

• Pre-loading trust = expectation alignment

• Delegation rituals = flow protection

• Naming the pattern = emotional distancing

• Pressure recovery = sustainable pace

• Challenge circles = feedback with consent

We’re testing all of it in the wild. With high-taste, high-agency humans. Because we believe emotional clarity is the invisible infrastructure of great work.

I was diagnosed with bipolar at 40.

It probably should’ve been caught earlier. But maybe my chimp masked it too well, strategic, intense, always in motion.

That diagnosis didn’t limit me. It clarified me.

It showed me that emotional complexity isn’t a liability in leadership. It’s the work.

We don’t run from the chimp.

We run with it, aligned, not unleashed.

Because performance isn’t about removing emotion.

It’s about structuring it. Naming it. Using it.

The best tribes aren’t the calmest. They’re the clearest.

Curious how this could shift your tribe? I’m exploring these ideas with founders and leaders building high-performance distributed teams. Drop me a note if you want to think through how emotional infrastructure could work in your context.