Personal blog and thoughts
As human beings, talking is what we do. Talking is a potent way to share ideas, influence, convince and rally people. Discussion is often an important part of achieving collective progress, because it gives a chance to the parties involved to express their needs and fears. By doing so, they become stakeholders in the project or topic discussed. But discussion fuels discussion. As we listen to…
Ask a project leader you know and they will tell you there are countless ways to set goals poorly. We may define the goal in a way that is too vague or too specific. Or the goal can be well defined but lack a framework to assess its completion. But it is also easy to pick the wrong goals to pursue in the first place, especially when project targets are selected by a heterogeneous group of…
Young children have no problem letting things go. It's a flaw built up over time, and it takes us years to unlearn it as adults. To correct a behavior, parents intuitively reprimand them when something wrong happens. We correct in the now what was done in the past. It creates a strong bond between how we feel now and what happened then"”a strong connection between the outcome, our feelings about…
Living with an 18-month-old is never boring. My son, Lucas, swings from one mood to another in less time than it took me to write the end of this sentence. One moment, he's happy reading a book. The next, he stands and tries to reach for a toy his sister plays with, but he melts down because he can't get it. The intensity and the pace of the scene reveal its obvious absurdity. However, we often…
Parenting is as live as improv theater. The rest of the troupe is here, the audience is here, and there's only one take. When I started my job as a dad, I thought I'd always be able to give it my best. Not in a presumptuous way, but in a will-try-really-hard kind of way. But real life is messy. Kids get tired; parents get tired. There are a million things to care for and problems to deal with. As…
It was super windy last weekend, and I was a bit agitated. I was on my way out to join my family at the playground. But as I was stepping past the wooden gate (I built it myself, and I'm a bit proud of it), I decided to go back and grab a football. Four steps away from the gate. That was far enough for me to be too far to catch it as the wind slammed it shut. Well, it did more than that. It ripped…
Kids get excited about things that are very different from those of adults. You probably remember your kid's first birthday. The members of the extended family all wanted to spoil her. They brought fun gifts. Useful and useless ones. They brought toys recommended by the best parent influencers. They looked at your child with excitement, as she was unwrapping the gifts with you. But she didn't seem…
Life is tough. Most weeks come with their share of issues. From a tiny aggravation to an enormous problem. Human beings have been trying to find ways to accept it since... well, probably since around the time our species began to exist. We have healthy and unhealthy ways to cope. Periods when it's easier to accept that life is made of these challenges and periods when we struggle. But…
The language we use matters. Hyperboles and exaggerations can be tempting to use to make a point. Or if you're French... oh yes! Some of us have a sweet spot for drama. But our kids have yet to adjust their rhetorical tools. They tend to take things literally even when we, adults, think that it's obviously just a figure of speech. If I say to my wife, "The tax level this year is KILLING US!" in…
It's 3:22 p.m., and I'm sitting in the clinic's waiting room. They send you to this place when you have an emergency that isn't urgent enough for the ER. I'm here with my daughter, who needs to see a doc. (She's good now) A few other kids are in the waiting room"”all with only one of their parents. And every parent is breaking their neck staring down at their phone. Fortunately, I realize this as…
Golly! Why is it so hard for us adults to acknowledge when things go well? Why do we seem to obsess over the proverbial late train? Modern science tells us that gratitude has health benefits across the board. Ancient traditions have been screaming at us to do it for literally thousands of years (see, for instance, the writings of Saint Paul). Yet, we don't express gratitude much. We go to bed with…
Today's essay is a bit tongue-in-cheek. It's meant to achieve one thing and one thing only: to relieve you and me from a specific parenting guilt. It's for all of us dads who feel slightly ashamed whenever we fail to follow through on our decisions. "Papa, can I watch Babblarna on YouTube?" "No." "Papa, can I watch Babblarna on YouTube?" "No." "Papa, can I watch Babblarna on YouTube?" "No." "Papa,…
I don't know about you, but some days, it feels like all I do is tell my kids not to do stuff. Or to be careful with stuff. Or to do stuff. Most adults implicitly know to abide by the etiquette without thinking about it. It feels "normal," which makes it more difficult to notice when our kids do it, too. Deviation sticks out; conformity blends in. However, if we reinforce the positive when we see…
Winston Churchill famously said that success is "the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." No one ever cruised through life without facing challenges, hardships, and failures. But the modern world and its fast technological progress have given us hubris. We can easily be tricked into believing that humans have it all under control when the reality is that... well,…
Think with me for a moment. Pick a time you presented an idea to your boss. Do you remember your excitement and motivation? Now, recall how you felt when your boss suggested "improvements" to your idea, or worse, a better way to do it. Sucks, right? Deep inside, we know that unprompted feedback can have this effect on us: It can ruin our motivation and fun. Yet, we do this very thing at home. Your…
I remember this weird story my mum shared with me. When I was a baby, my father's mother got really upset because my dad was changing my diaper. To her, this was something a dad did not do. It was cultural and generational, and things have changed since then. Yet, many still associate toughness (an attribute often praised for a dad) with emotional minimalism. Some men struggle to cry in front of…
Hello friends, For episode number 3 of Papa Notes presents: Conversations, I had the pleasure to chat with Joao Aguiam. We covered many different topics, including raising kids abroad and the challenges of speaking multiple languages at home. Please watch the full conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/TNkypqUZGGQ?s... Here is the transcript Greg: It's good to have you. I was just telling you…
The moment you became a dad, you waved goodbye to your old way of vacationing. I recently talked to Jamie about vacationing with kids on the Papa Notes Conversations podcast . One thing stood out: you must go on vacation with realistic expectations. Whether your kids are teenagers or younger, you can be confident they won't merely comply with your preferences. Especially if you were dreaming of a…
You heard that "discipline equals freedom." I, too, like this saying. There's power in it. It makes us feel in control. And overall, it rings true. But is it true, really? Not totally; it's easy to exert discipline on the wrong things. You can repeatedly work out with the wrong form and heart yourself. You can force yourself to work on the wrong thing. You can push hard and make sacrifices,…
You are flawed, and so am I. We carry our defects of character into fatherhood. But there's hope. Before we get kids, it's easier to ignore some of these flaws. People who care about us might give us feedback, but it's nothing compared to the feedback from a child. Kids mirror our repeated behaviors. Be generous around your son, and you will witness him being generous in turn. Show repeated…
Learning a new skill is difficult. In the beginning, enthusiasm propels us. It's new and exciting, and we are making progress quickly. But learning is never a linear endeavor. Our motivation fluctuates. Distractions and other interests show up. Setbacks and plateaux are inevitable. A son learning to bike finally drops the training wheels and falls. A daughter learning the French horn can't play…
Hello friends, Papa Notes presents: Conversations is back with a new episode! Listen to my very interesting and eloquent friend Mukom talk about parenting. You can find the full conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/iSO39N_yUwo?s... Here is the transcript Mukom: Hi Greg, I'm doing great. Nice to catch up with you again. How have you been? Greg: I've been very, very good. ...
Each of us adheres to an education principle that will act as a north star. This principle is often modeled after or against how we were raised. To some, this principle emphasizes the authority in parental authority: "My kids do what I tell them to because I tell them to do it." To others, the guiding principle is one of full agency of the child: "My kids are human beings; they know what's best…
Humans are controlling animals. They try to shape everything to their liking. The environment, themselves, and the people around them. Especially their offspring, whether they admit it or not. As new dads, we are well-intended but naïve. We believe we will always manage to control what we say and how we act around our kids. We think it is possible always to give a good example. Foolishness! Real…
Every entrepreneur who stays long enough in the game will experience feeling stuck. I have written about this topic before, and the article became one of my most-read, reaching tens of thousands of readers (and counting.) Usually, an entrepreneur feels stuck when one of these two things happens. Either your current company or product is not performing the way we thought it would, and you feel like…
Hello my friends! For this first episode of Papa Notes presents: Conversations, I had the pleasure to have a conversation with my friend Jamie Howard. You can watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/sxUHWYaHhv0?s... Here is the transcript of this episode. Greg: It's very interesting because, you know, writing for dads, sometimes I have this feeling like I don't want to be too…
A friend asked if he's wrong to teach his boy to cheat. This question has the quality of punching you in the stomach. It leaves you slightly disturbed and uncomfortable because, deep down, you know the answer is more complicated than it seems at first glance. My knee-jerk answer was that you should never teach a kid to cheat. The world is already crooked enough. We should aim to raise a generation…
Some events in life anoint you with a mission. You experience tragedy, luck, forgiveness, or grace, and you know that you won't be allowed to shut up about it. You have now inherited a responsibility, big or small, to help others or pay what you received forward. Consider today's post, a PSA (Public Service Announcement), as part of my mission. If you aren't already a dad, what you're about to…
Most adults don't like interacting with strangers. Some don't know how to open the conversation or are afraid to bother the person. Others live in a past trauma of being ridiculed at school as a kid or rejected as an adult. It may even be amplified by the culture of the country where you grew up. Swedes, for instance, are often said to avoid talking to their neighbors (and strangers in general).…
Two years ago, I moved my family to a house. Shy above 110 square meters (1,184 square feet for my friends living outside of the metric world), the house itself isn't what you'd call big. But it is what we wanted. It's cheap to heat, cool down, and maintain. This house we bought has an interesting floor plan. The three bedrooms are relatively small, but the kitchen and dining room offer generous…
Isolation is as bad as the lack of data. Trying to make serious decisions on your own is a grave mistake. Our actions and decisions are always both emotional and rational. Oftentimes, the rational side comes later to justify our decision. However, there is a simple way to bring on the rationale early on. It is to add other people to the mix. "Ok, Greg, thank you very much. That's kind of obvious."…
My friend looked me in the eye and said: "Now that you have a kid, you will NEVER not worry." Sophie, my daughter, was just a few weeks old, but I had already experienced more worrying for someone else than in the previous three decades. Her early days were quite rough for many reasons. (Some of which I will return to in a future note.) She's my first child. During the first few weeks, I could…
If you've been following this blog for a while, you probably noticed that more and more of my content includes anecdotes and teachings from my fatherhood. I used to say that having kids turned my life downside up. It made me reassess my priorities, reconsider the risks I'm taking, and rethink my identity. I love being a dad. It is the best personal development hack . For the past two years, I'...
Top coaches and motivational speakers make bread with the dough of thousands wanting to see them on stage. The book market is flooded with self-help and personal development books, from the most uninspired to the most eccentric or bizarre, and only a tiny percentage of helpful ones. We are constantly reminded to get out of our comfort zone. We must "work on ourselves" and "find and fix our blind…
There's a comic strip that circulates in entrepreneur communities. It's about a character who starts a new hobby. But before long, his entrepreneurial mind takes over and pushes him to turn the hobby into a side business. Making it, well, not fun anymore. I can tragically relate to this joke. Most of my interests revolve around business. My mind is always actively seeking ways to connect hobbies…
Only fools believe that what they once felt, they will feel forever. And we are all fools. Youths fall madly in love only for a short while. A new job energizes a woman until she realizes it's not perfect. A man begins learning the piano and stops after a week. Why? Unless we learn to cultivate them, the love, excitement, or sense of mission that originally carried us dissipate. You got the father…
We can't stand regular stimulation anymore. We always want to be entertained. Reach into our right pocket and access an infinite list of things to watch, read, or listen to. People get sore thumbs from scrolling. Talking with people is slow. "Boooooring." As a result, it isn't easy to talk to someone uninterrupted. Notifications arrive at a rate inversely proportional to the age of the person…
Entrepreneurs are compulsive learners. In the early days, it is an unfair advantage. Or even a requirement. Entrepreneurship demands that we be all-terrains. We need to understand the different aspects of the business, from innovation to operation. The founder is responsible for turning the idea into a purchasable product. Sometimes, injected capital allows her to outsource parts of the process,…
Sophie, my four-year-old daughter, loves chess. She has seen me play or do chess puzzles since her early days. There was always a chessboard on the kitchen table. When she was two, we would sometimes sit facing each other on the floor, separated by a chessboard. I would let her grab the chess pieces and make funny noises and gestures to hint at how they move. "Fffffff fffff does the bishop" while…
Being a father is an incarnated experience. You can explain what you are going through or share your emotions with guys who don't have kids yet. But they won't get it. It takes living the fatherhood experience to understand it truly. If you tell a pal about your seven-week streak of poor sleeping nights, he might try to approximate what it's like based on his own experience. "Ah! Yeah. I remember…
Last week's essay was popular. It attracted hundreds of new people to the site in just a few days, and people engaged in conversations about whether or not our culture values and promotes intelligence as the supreme good. It struck a chord. Recent advances in technology demand that we bring ethics and philosophy to the forefront. Yet, despite achieving exactly what I had aimed for, I was presented…
Is the ruthless pursuit of performance good? What can we say about a society that rewards effort over everything else? Why do we marvel at intellectual prowess more than kindness? I'll be honest: I hesitated for a while before writing this week's essay. I took a deep breath as I wrote the title: "The devil is all intelligence and no love." Look at the world we live in. From a young age, we are…
Many dream of public writing but never publish anything. Ask them why, and they'll answer that they don't know what to write about. The following is your crash course in creating short essays: Take one small idea and start writing at once. You don't have to write thousands of words to impact others. You don't need to come up with an outline first. You don't need a title that will grab people's…
In the business world, work frequently happens within a project. Success depends on completing all the tasks on time and budget. And a project has a beginning and an end. At work, we are encouraged to build and reinforce certain "type A" character traits: competitiveness, restlessness, and a strong sense of time urgency. We should tick boxes, close loops, and archive projects. Keeping loops open…
Networking events suck. I have said so myself in the past. And if I'm being honest, I still dodge most invitations to business gatherings. My friend is a lawyer, and she was invited to an after-work event with other people of her profession in a Parisian bar. She confessed: "I'm afraid that everybody will know some people there and I will be alone. I'm not sure how to approach people cold."…
I took an unscheduled week off. Not a vacation per se, but a week AFK. Away from the keyboard. I didn't answer emails. Not even the ones that would normally prompt me to reply right away. Not even the ones that had a clear question for me. I didn't create my usual weekly log. I didn't post on Twitter. I didn't engage in my usual other communication channels. I didn't try to form new relationships.…
It sometimes takes me many drafts to get to a published essay. The peculiar thing is that I never write several drafts about the same idea. Throughout the week, I come up with ideas I want to share with you, dear reader. Ideas are sometimes inspired by something happening in my life as a dad or at work. But not always. Sometimes, ideas appear out of nowhere, and I can't see how they connect to…
When I was young, I had few skills and no experience. I had, however, clarity on what I wanted, and I hustled hard! Nothing illegal, don't worry. But I was relentless and determined to push boundaries to create opportunities. I got my first job when I was seventeen. I moved 500 kilometers away from my hometown and anything familiar. I moved to Paris. Well, it wasn't really Paris; it was the inner…
A friend's question prompted me to reflect on the way I work. Joschua asked me: "How's your motivation level?" I'm currently promoting a new product, and it's always a rollercoaster ride. Some days, I am encouraged by the positive replies (people who want to try my software). On other days, I am discouraged by passive-aggressive negative replies. (I can't blame them. Though I'm doing my best to…
If you love learning or have a predisposition to starting businesses, it's difficult to set your mind to only ONE thing. Our world is crazy interesting. The number of ideas knows no bounds. Each day that passes, the environment changes. Each day that passes, you change. And change births even more opportunities. What should get your attention? Unlimited optionality means that you could be working…