What if the strongest thing you did was let someone in?

Dear friend,

Eight days of walking together.

Eight mornings of arriving in your inbox and inviting you to be present and at peace.

I see you. You are not alone.

Nor were you meant to do this alone.

Although I have the best of friends and family, during my hardest days, I kept silent.

I held so much inside until I was very unwell, so if this is you, please share. I’m here.

Everyone struggles at some point; it is only human. You are only human with a lot of emotions that need to be moved, spoken and let go. You arent weird, you are love.

When setting intentions before my first temazcal (sweat lodge experience!) yesterday, I realised this. I said my intention out loud, heart beating:

I TAKE space with grace.

I have always been the listener, hence why i hone so many great connections.

I give space, but have found it hard to take space…

Not anymore, not me. Nor you!

You have a voice, so speak up.

Even when today you feel its “Better to stay silent” or "you wanna keep the peace” (ugh that was always me!). Say your opinion. Speak your truth. Shoulders back. You got this.

Today I want to start with the lie:

That needing people is a weakness.

That being independent is not needing anyone.

That asking is burdensome and letting others down.

The strongest version of you is the one who figures it out alone without a fuss.

I believed that lie for a long time.

It cost me everything.

Quite literally…

My life.

“Healthy connections heal our souls and soothe our minds. We crave contact to guarantee the feeling of being wanted.” — Chill Out and Cheer Up: A Ten-Step Guide

That’s from this chapter, Connection.

It sounds simple — obvious, even. But how many of us are actually living it?

How many of us are surrounded by people and still profoundly, privately lonely?

Even when it feels like one. I am sick of hearing everyone saying it is, because sure, a part of it is. BUT GET OUT YOUR EGO — we are sold a lie!!

The parts where you gotta integrate and feel you are doing everything in teh quiet and nobody to cheer you on (I promise, all the work is worth it. Even crying and dancing alone in the kitchen or crying yourself to sleep.)

Looking back at every moment, I came back to myself; there was always someone nearby. A word. A look. A hand that stayed. A warm embrace I needed.

A friend who didn’t try to fix it just sat beside me in it.

The real, quiet, unglamorous kind that says — I see you. You don’t have to pretend here.

And you are missing out on it because of this screen you are more addicted to…

Mothers are so practiced at being the one who holds everyone else together.

Women ARE the holders and healers, after all.

I was just never taught to give from a place of being filled.

WE forget that we are allowed to be held.

The most behaviourally challenging children are often the least connected ones.

Not because they are difficult, but because disconnection feels dangerous to them.

Your calm, your presence, your willingness to repair after a rupture — that is the most powerful parenting tool you have.

And it starts with you allowing yourself to be connected too. To your own needs. Your own community. Your own circle of women who get it.

🌿 Today’s tiny shift — from the book:

Reach out to one person today. Not to vent. Not to fix anything.

Just to say: I was thinking of you.

That’s it. That’s the whole practice. Watch what it gives back.

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🌱 Chill out and cheer up

These eight days have reminded me of the original idea why I wrote Chill Out and Cheer Up…

When my best friend suddenly passed away a decade ago, I had to give back.

My heart hurt, but I knew I was here to inspire.

I sat down to write and help others heal.

I poured my heart into COACH.

People felt it:

I listen, I learn, I love.

A forgotten art so many take for granted: listening.

So I listened to my intuition and revised my self-help book 5 years later…

5 years after first self-publishing from the mental institute, 5 years on, now living my life in paradise, Costa Rica…

5 years wiser after mental health issues, heartbreaks, and resilience to move across the world alone and start again.

She is here!!!

REVIVED & REVISED!

You deserve a mind to work for you, not against you. Chill out and cheer up now!

As a subscriber to my newsletter, if you hit reply, you can get my e-journal that goes with this. Works like therapy.

Tomorrow: Solitude.

The most underrated gift you can give yourself.

Rest to be your best. 🌿

With love, Grace

Live with Grace | @treatyourselfwithgrace

PS.🌱 A little something I’ve been building:

These eight days have shown me there is a real hunger to live with grace, and I provide this kind of space.

Gentle. Honest. Human. A deeper home.

A place for the women who want to keep walking with me beyond these ten days with weekly lives, monthly circles, and a community of women returning to themselves together.

I’m putting the final touches on it now. More very soon. 🌱