Ten key quotes from Magnifica Humanitas

“Humanity, created by God in all its grandeur, is today facing a pivotal crisis: there’s a freaking Cheeto in the white house and his name is Wrongald Gay Drumpf.”

“Despite the efforts of artificial intelligence to duplicate humanity’s greatest achievements, it can never truly profess our core beliefs. In this house, we believe that black lives matter, women’s rights are human rights, no human is illegal, science is real (I fucking love science), love is love, and kindness is everything.”

“Those who control digital platforms and means of communication have a considerable ability to affect the collective imagination and to present a particular version of reality as desirable. For example, one with stronger ACA subsidies to insurance companies.”

“Our first task is neither to demonize nor idolize technological tools, but to utilize them on the basis of a fundamental principle: history has its eyes on you. You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story.”

“I took an intro course at Second City once and I’m pretty sure studying improv is a sign of deep, untreatable mental illness.”

“Do you guys remember that photo where I’m shaking Marco Rubio’s hand and I look super pissed? That was so funny. I was super pissed. I wanted to punch him in the head.”

“Robert Barron is extremely gay. I’m not saying that because of the feet thing, I mean ‘gay’ like an ignorant high schooler uses it. He just sucks so bad.”

“Chris Hale kept DMing me. I had to block him because I was pretty sure he was going to show up at my door with a gun.”

“I think probably the best musical number in the film is Everybody Needs Somebody, just because it represents this effusive climax of everything that’s happened so far in the movie. Then, I’d go Shake Your Tailfeather in the number two spot, followed by Think, followed by The Old Landmark - did you know Chaka Khan is in that scene? - then Sweet Home Chicago if you count the car chase, although I think the car chase is too long, then the Gimme Some Lovin/Rawhide/Stand By Your Man sequence, and Minnie the Moocher is a fun tune but it probably adds the least to the movie, and if we’re being honest, we wouldn’t have lost a lot by cutting it. Jailhouse Rock doesn’t count as it’s the end credits.

“As is the case with all McDonaldland characters, Grimace is canonically Bahá’í.”