When Fast X came out in 2023, I spent a considerable amount of time researching which character in the Fast & Furious universe was the actual fastest and the actual most furious. And, candidly, I was surprised by the answer.
I assumed that Dominic Toretto, widely regarded as the franchise’s greatest driver, would be the fastest. And I assumed that Deckard Shaw, an extremely violent former MI6 agent and assassin, would be the most furious. HOWEVER, that turned out not to be the case at all. Brian, the ex-cop turned street racer, ended up being the fastest (he topped out at 162 miles per hour during a race in 2 Fast 2 Fast, giving him the highest confirmed speed in any of the movies1). And Toretto, despite his trademark always-in-control demeanor, ended up being the most furious (in fact, he’s killed 300% more people in the franchise than Shaw has2). And I mention all of that to say: I found myself recently wondering about a new Fast & Furious-related question that I wanted answered. So:
Welcome to DATA DUMP, a recurring column at GOOD MOVIE wherein we present you with a bunch of research data about a movie, or a director, or an actor. The subject for this installment: Which character from the Fast & Furious universe is the LEAST fast and the LEAST furious?
Here’s the six-step process for how you figure out which character across all of the Fast & Furious movies is the least fast and the least furious:
Step 1. Use the cast list for each movie to put together an initial list of candidates.
Step 2. Establish a baseline for how long a character must appear on screen in total to be considered a viable candidate. (In this case, I went with 360 seconds. Anybody whose screen time was under that was automatically deemed ineligible for consideration.)
Step 3. Rewatch all of the movies and take extensive notes, documenting things like estimated top speed reached, fights, kills, and so on.
Step 4. Cull the original list of candidates. (There were enough people who registered zero kills, for example, that we were able to automatically eliminate any characters from contention who had killed someone.)
Step 5. Designate several categories to be measured on a points scale. (In this case, I went with: Time Spent Driving, Time Spent Running, Fights Participated In, and Misc. Furious Moments.)
Step 6. And, finally, tally each character’s total score. Whoever has the least amount of points is the winner.
In reverse order, here are the seven least fast and least furious characters from the Fast & Furious universe:
Remember Jimmy? He’s the primary mechanic at Tej’s shop in 2 Fast 2 Furious. Mainly, his job in the movie is to just look cool while talking about car engine stuff. Of the 769 seconds of screen time he gets, he:
Drives for 4 seconds
Runs for 3 seconds
Participates in 0 fights
And has 0 furious moments
P.S. Jimmy was played by a rapper named Jin. And for a certain segment of population (namely: people who were heavily invested in the weekly Freestyle Friday segment on BET’s 106 & Park music video countdown show), he was the most exciting and popular person on the planet for seven weeks in 2002.
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