Low bar boyfriend song

I’m the type of music listener who hears and enjoys a song dozens of times before paying attention to what the lyrics are saying. For example, I liked the 2010 song, “Pumped Up Kicks” for several years until I realized it was about the intentions of a school shooter. Not so fun to sing along to after that.

Occasionally I hear a pop song from the mid-80s and it takes me back to my awkward early teenage years. Those were lonely times and some of these songs really connected with me. But now when I inspect the lyrics, I notice things.

In 1984, Deniece Williams had the hit, “Let’s Hear It for the Boy,” where she presented the case that her amazing boyfriend deserved rapturous applause. “Let’s give the boy a hand!” she repeats.

At the time, I wished I was that boy and I had such an admiring girlfriend. Let’s see what he did to deserve such praise. Deniece starts the song with:

My baby, he don't talk sweet
He ain't got much to say

Wow! I also ain’t got much to say. Despite his (and my) poor communication skills, she “knows that he loves me anyway.” Each verse of the song starts with additional information about this hunk:

And maybe he don’t dress fine. But I don’t really mind

My baby may not be rich. He's watchin' every dime

And maybe he sings off-key. But that's alright by me, yeah

In her joyous song, Deniece is compelled to point out flaw after flaw, and then brush those concerns away with the counter argument, “Maybe he's no Romeo. But he's my lovin' one-man show.” He may be a poor, uncommunicative, tone-deaf slob, but he’s MY poor, uncommunicative, tone-deaf slob.

Teenage-me was totally on-board with this song. Only now do I suspect that Deniece’s pleas to “give the boy a hand” actually meant that the boy needed assistance, not applause.

Let’s Hear It for the Boy was featured in the movie, Footloose. Another song on that soundtrack was “Holding Out for a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler. She had different expectations for her dream man.

I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero

For some reason, teenage-me didn’t vibe with this song. Strong and fast? Bonnie is asking for a lot. Who is she holding out for?

Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?

Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet

Bonnie is holding out until the morning light for a god like Hercules or Superman. She clearly has higher standards than Deniece, but she may have to wait longer than one night.

So clearly I had a fragile male ego in 1984. Luckily I grew and matured over the years. I even got a girlfriend. She lived in Canada. (No really, that’s true. She was real. I was in Canada too!)

By the late 90s, I was secure enough to fully enjoy Shania Twain’s song, “That Don’t Impress Me Much” in which she is unimpressed by a rocket scientist, Brad Pitt, Elvis and Captain Kirk. Good for you, Shania! Let’s give her a hand.