📣 Introducing: Fear of Success with Gina Mariko

I turned on my computer after coming home from therapy and told myself I was going to work for 30 minutes. It’s been 2 hours now.

That’s the thing about creative work for me. I get SUCKED IN. In a good way. So here we go. Launch day!

tl;dr: I’m rebranding my Substack.

Because who doesn’t love a good pivot ;) When I first launched my Substack I was so excited to start writing more, because here’s the thing - I absolutely LOVE writing. I’m a writer that happens to be an event planner and entrepreneur.

Fun Fact: I was supposed to be an English teacher. I studied Philosophy at UC Berkeley, passed all 4 English CSETs in one day (it’s hard to do!), and was about to attend Grad School at UC Berkeley. But life had other plans for me and I ended up pivoting to work in nonprofits instead.

But I never stopped writing. Because I love writing. Truly, it’s my happy place. From journals I’ve been keeping since the 7th grade, to love notes on binder paper, to Xanga, to MySpace, to spoken word poetry, to Blogger, to Instagram, to Wordpress, to Substack, to hopeful future book. I’ve been documenting and sharing my deepest life learnings for a long time.

To this day, I treat all my blog announcements like album drops. So now through my Substack I would have a more consistent platform to share more regularly. The thing is, I’m also a recovering perfectionist, who also runs a small business that is in a growth phase. So TIME is quite limited these days, to say the least.

My hope of writing weekly on Fridays never quite came to fruition. My original concept of “The Mariko Method” ended up feeling restrictive, like every blog needed to be perfect in order to live up to the pressure of donning my name. I needed to pivot again and rebrand.

So here I am, relaunching my Substack with my NEW theme and title:

For years, I thought my biggest challenges were perfectionism, people-pleasing, and fear of failure. But the deeper I looked, the more I realized something else was hiding underneath:

I was scared of becoming the version of myself I actually wanted to be.

I was scared of responsibility.
Of visibility.
Of making mistakes.
Of judgment.
Of getting called out.
Of being “too much.”
Of finally getting the things I said I want, only to lose them.
Of what my success would mean for my relationships, my identity, and my community.

And I learned something important:
Success can be just as terrifying as failure. If anything, it’s scarier.

Trying to create my own definition and version of success that wasn’t only centered around money, but also measured impact. I didn’t know WHAT it looked like. I didn’t know HOW I could achieve it. And I wasn’t even sure I COULD do it at all.

But here’s the bigger question - if and when I attained this so-called success, would I be able to enjoy it? Did I believe I deserved it?

In the end I was just afraid. AFRAID TO SUCCEED.

I’ll never forget the time that Make It Mariko had our most profitable year ever. I stared at my final PNL (profit and loss) report for the year and had to keep rechecking the numbers because I couldn’t believe it. I had finally had a really profitable year of business, but I was deathly afraid of the money for some reason. I felt guilty.

I immediately donated a bunch of money to my favorite nonprofits.

Maybe out of guilt? Maybe because I just love those nonprofits and wanted to share some of my success with them, for their good work. I just knew that there was something in my gut that felt weird.

Has this ever happened to you before? Feeling guilty or fearful when something amazing happens?

Damn, there’s so much to unpack here, and this is only the beginning! I hope you will join me for the ride :)

• Real Stories calling out the hard, lonely, realness of social impact entrepreneurship and values-driven leadership

• Lessons Learned with more gratitude and less judgment

• Community and Connection: A reminder that we’re not in this alone, even when it feels that way.

• Tools and practices to stop self-sabotaging your own potential

• Invites to Events: For Subscribers in or visiting the SF Bay Area

• You’re ambitious but overwhelmed

• You’re doing big things but still feel like an imposter

• You’ve put off a dream because it feels “too big”

• You overthink every next step

• You struggle with success guilt

• You want more but feel conflicted about wanting it

This world needs more people who are willing to step into their potential - unapologetically, with heart, and with joyful endurance. Your support helps give me the encouragement to continue writing and sharing, so please leave comments, likes, and shares :) And one day soon, I am going to finish that damn book!

So here we are. If you’re afraid of your own potential, you’re in the right place.

Thank you for being a part of the journey,

🖤 Gina Mariko