Greetings gigglers! To begin this letter on a positive note, Mercury in retrograde allegedly ends tomorrow and we’re hopeful this is the end of our one battle after another summer.
Also, we finally released new merch!!! Hannah has already stained her lasagna tank with red sauce - no white piece of clothing is safe in her home. And Paige is actually considering leaving her house to pretend to buy vegetables (not lettuce) at the farmers market because she has a new tote bag.
We are going to see each other in person tomorrow for the first time in months and it’s a will they, won’t they situation. Will Paige go in for a hug or will she be protecting her peace and freshly steam closeted outfit?
We’ve realized that Hannah is never going to move out of the bargaining stage of the masseter massacre. This week’s approach is a muscle stim machine. We don’t know how she came across this product but chances are it’s because she’s been spending too much time with her husband. Someone suggested dry needling but that sounds worse than losing your virginity so Hannah is going to pass on that… for now.
Paige might not be in Italy anymore but her tan certainly is. For those of you asking who her spray tan artist is — it’s her Italian ancestors, the sun from Capri, and a little bit of E coli.
If you’re having a bad week, just remember that Judge Judy got jumped and her enemies are still out to get her. Thanks for giggling with us <3
mental health moment
“I try not to ask men for advice” — Amy Poehler
No posts
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.