When did algorithms start acting like emotionally unavailable men?

I couldn’t help but wonder… when did emotionally unavailable men stop being just a dating dilemma and start showing up everywhere — even in our professional lives? The conversation may feel new, but the trend is as old as a bad breakup: the one who can’t share their feelings, who shuts down at the first sign of intimacy, and who treats commitment like it's an optional add-on.

But lately, we have found ourselves facing an even more elusive partner — social media.

In the era of digital everything… we can deny it, resist it, or wish we could ghost it entirely, but the truth remains // businesses need social platforms. And anyone who’s ever tried to navigate them professionally knows the truth — it’s less “tool for connection” and more Labyrinth, minus David Bowie’s pizzazz and iconic hair + makeup. It’s a disorienting maze of metrics, moods, and unexplained behavior — professionally, personally, and yes… psychologically.

Just when you think you’ve got into a groove with one, the algorithm changes. It’s hot one day, cold the next, and never fully available. Sound familiar? It made me wonder… do algorithms need therapy? And when did social media start acting like the emotionally unavailable men we swore we’d stop entertaining?

They’re distant. Aloof. They pull back just when you think things are going well. They stop responding, then pop back up three weeks later like nothing happened. And we — loyal, hopeful creators — keep showing up, wondering what we did wrong.

So when do we admit that we might be enabling this behavior?

Maybe it’s time to stop contorting our brands and our lives into digital pretzels just to earn a little attention. Maybe we set the bar higher, hold our boundaries, and reconnect with why we showed up in these spaces at all — for our work, our businesses, and our own very human selves.

And if all else fails?… keep the tab open on a good therapist. 

xoxo,

laura