MAA 12: Skyla Grayce Hart- writer and mother

Loved this interview with Skyla! I especially relate and love how she calls motherhood her art form, and instead of sitting in the difficulties and changes motherhood can bring, she revels in it. She allows this expansion of becoming a mother to draw her closer to her art. She finds beauty in the simple ordinary moments like talking with her toddler, being in nature, and all the duties that come with taking care of a home. I love how Skyla talks about discipline as devotion— showing up for herself to sit down and write when she has the time instead of waiting for the perfect moment to create inside of.

I am in the early years of motherhood right now; our son is three years old. I am finally coming up for air after the wildness and rawness of the baby and toddler years. It is perhaps the first time since he was born that I am starting to feel myself as a separate body, as a woman as well as a mother, again. Life is opening up as other adults begin to step in and care for our child. Which is massive for us, as these first few years, there was just my husband and I making it all work.

They say that the real graft is in the first three years, staying close, really being there and then the rest unfolds with more grace and ease, and I would agree with this. I poured my heart and soul into motherhood, and now I see how that work and energy is coming back to sustain me now as I step more forward into the things that nourish and guide me.

Creatively, I feel there is much blossoming in this stage of mothering. Not in the same incredible surge that is postpartum, but in a quieter, self-assured way that is allowing me to step out and be more visible as I commit to more consistently writing, building my offerings and beginning a year of studying Systemic Family Constellations. All of which is held in a more ordinary and grounded flow of life as a family. There is more of a calm knowing of the direction my creativity is taking that allows me to use the limited time I have most effectively. A readiness in my field of awareness that encourages me to keep going, leveraging all the capacity I have created in motherhood to serve me as I mother my own creations.

Motherhood has become my art form. In turning towards it rather than being in conflict with this chapter, there is so much that has become alive for me. The words that want to move through my writing desire to speak of the known and unspoken experiences of mothers everywhere. The shock and awe that surrounded me as I became a mother has been the fuel to my creative fire, and it’s burned right through the centre of my heart. Motherhood has not only connected me back to my writing (my art) but connected me to life in a more simple way. There is a new rhythm that is found in mothering, one that can not be rushed or pushed through, and in being with this, I am finding so much more inspiration in the most ordinary moments of our daily lives. I notice how much closer to home, closer to myself, my creativity has become; it is no longer something I reach for, instead it is something I have become.

About my emotions. I am really seeing how my mood impacts my child and where this lands in there system and how they try to resolve my emotions. Its very eye opening and making me aware of the needs of the child and how when I feel wobbly it not only makes them wobbly but there little brain wants to resolve this so that mama or papa can come back online and be 100% safe and secure for them again. Its very humbling to see yourself reflected in the eyes of your child and to allow yourself the grace to course correct and find a realness to being with the nuance of your day and how it makes you feel in their presence.

I don’t think it’s about pretending to be ok all the time and it’s not about being in the wildness of your emotions either. I am finding a way to bring understanding and allow the responsibility of my emotional life to remain always mine by including it in the present moment and naming it clearly.

Every day is different; we have minimal support with our son in terms of nursery and childcare. It is actually mostly with his dad or me that he spends his time. We play and spend time in nature. Sometimes we paint, puzzle or make towers with diplo othertimes we bake or jump on the trampoline. When I am with my son, I am not writing, so if an idea comes or a thought starts scratching at my skull asking for attention, I will jot it down on my phone in notes so I can return to it later.

My husband runs a food truck, and so the smell of the fire going in the van, dough being made in our kitchen, back door open to the garden, which looks beyond into the parkland of the land we live on, feels peaceful. We watch the kites fly above our house and count the clouds as they pass. I am blessed to be supported to be mostly a mama with some regular work for a friend's business to cover my currently studying fees and then some childcare with a local girl who has worked with our family for four years now, which means I get pockets of time to write and create alongside mothering.
It's a balance and one that some weeks doesn't fall so much in the favour of my creativity, and then other weeks I feel an abundance of space to create. Life expands and contracts.

My relationship with my body. There never seems to be enough time to exercise or move.

The most rewarding is having the sweetest conversations with my son about his day, what dinosaur he is imagining will chase him later and seeing the joy in his eyes as he gobbles up an ice cream.

The discipline of showing up when I have the time to create. The ritual has become sitting down to write rather than performative. I used to need many more tools, tricks and tips to find my way into creative flow. Now I trust if I sit down to write, something will emerge, and if I am struggling to find my doorway in, I ask myself, what has moved me, angered me, enlivened me this week. What has caught my attention and been on the tip of my tongue when sharing with friends or my husband.

These simple things that I can whizz past in the act of trying too hard to find something to write about that is shiny always lead me into deeper thought paths that have a funny way of showing me something I care about, and all the inspiration and content pour forth from there.

The most nourishing thing for my creativity right now is childcare. Which makes me laugh as I write this, but it is 100% true. The deliciousness of a quiet house and alone time to dance in the inner realms of my self is so necessary. Having the privilege of time and space to explore my creative desires is deep nourishment and allows me to fill my cup.

I do the dishes, hang the laundry or make chocolate chip cookies. I bring myself back to the here and now, but ask myself, what is needed to serve the wider picture of our daily home and daily needs? It reminds me that the work, writing or business offering is simply one aspect of the whole, and if it is overwhelming me or feels challenging, I get to take a pause and reset by finding my way back to the reality of what it means to show up within our family. It's so calming to me to turn my attention towards our garden, watering the roses or folding our son's clothes that he has thrown on the floor. It really is the fastest way for me to come back to myself has become an orientation for my body and mind towards the moment and in the moment, I can fall back into flow.

Listen to your heart - stop and breathe for a moment, open your eyes to the beauty that is already here.

Don’t wait to know what you want to create to be creative. Give yourself pockets of time to sit in the unknown and let creativity find you within them.

Picture walks - when I am stuck and feel blocked, I take a camera or my phone on a walk and let myself be drawn in by the beauty of nature. Taking pictures of how I see the world allows me a way back into the threads of my artistic vision and serves to inspire me once more.

Mothers Are Artists is a weekly interview series documenting the inner worlds, creative practices, and daily lives of mothers who create.

These conversations explore the many ways in which motherhood and artistry shape one another; through sacred rhythms, messiness, and the mundane magic of everyday life.

The art that lives within everyday mothering.

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