One of the biggest surprises to come out of this week’s Anthony Fauci hearing wasn’t that he invoked the Fifth Amendment like a broken record.
It was discovering he kept a diary.
A diary.
Somewhere, a twelve-year-old girl with a glitter-covered notebook just yelled, “I KNEW IT!”
According to reports, Fauci meticulously documented meetings, conversations, and random thoughts throughout the scam-demic. Judging by the size of the diary, I’m assuming it also included a schoolboy crush on Kim Kardashian, plans to release his famous virus in multiple flavors, another “Pfizer Salesman of the Month” award, and the question, “Do you think people are really dumb enough to stand six feet apart?”
I don’t even remember where I left my car keys this morning.
This guy apparently remembered what happened on a conference call four years ago.
Which makes the Senate hearing even more fascinating.
After documenting practically everything, he suddenly couldn’t discuss... anything.
According to reports, Fauci invoked the Fifth Amendment 111 times before the Senate.
One hundred and eleven.
That’s not testimony.
That’s a Spotify playlist.
Track 111: “On the Advice of Counsel (Extended Dance Mix).”
By the fiftieth “I respectfully decline to answer,” the court reporter simply wrote, “See previous 49 answers.”
The hearing itself became increasingly heated. Senator Rand Paul had one of Fauci’s attorneys removed after a dispute over committee rules, while Senator Bernie Moreno eventually dispensed with Senate etiquette altogether and demanded to know who the F-Bomb Fauci thought he was.
Meanwhile, C-SPAN accidentally became pay-per-view.
The irony is that the released diary entries reportedly describe private discussions about the lab-leak, testing failures, mask BS, and disagreements inside the government.
Which leaves me with one simple question.
If you wrote it all down...
...why not just answer the questions?
It’s like getting pulled over after writing, “Dear Diary, I definitely shouldn’t have been driving 95,” then telling the officer, “On the advice of counsel, I’d rather discuss my favorite casserole recipe.”
Of course, the scam-demic itself was already the greatest comedy script ever rejected by Hollywood.
We stood six feet apart because apparently viruses have built-in tape measures.
We installed enough plexiglass to build an NHL arena because COVID supposedly looked at a clear plastic sheet and said, “Foiled again!”
We sanitized groceries.
We wore useless face diapers.
We wiped down doorknobs.
Some people probably disinfected the disinfectant.
Future generations are never going to believe us.
Imagine trying to explain 2020 to your grandchildren.
“We couldn’t buy toilet paper. We followed arrows through Walmart. We trusted a little piece of plexiglass because apparently viruses never thought to go around it. We wiped down bananas. Then, years later, the guy who kept a diary about everything showed up before Congress...
...and suddenly had nothing to say.”
He couldn’t answer a single question.
The joke is on Fauci, though. By now, smart Americans have already filled in the blanks.
Anthony Fauci is back on Capitol Hill, but I don't believe the American people are getting straight answers. In fact, they’re not getting any at all!
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This week, we’re covering politics, media, and one constitutional amendment that may have every man in America calling their congressman.
First, Nexstar political correspondent Mark Zinn joins us with the latest upcoming election news.
Then, radio legend Brad Hildebrand stops by to make the case for his constitutional amendment requiring women to buy on the first date. Is it long-overdue fairness... or the quickest way to become single? We’ll let Brad explain.
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Until next time...
Todd
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