How do you rise above distress?

On my morning walk, a robin was perched on the tippy top of the highest roof around, singing its heart out. I paused and wondered: why so high?

Yesterday, a Canadian friend told me that most of her friends from the states are really struggling with overwhelm these days. I am among them at times.

My therapist advises me to be especially mindful of my sensory experiences - because “they are quick reminders that the present moment is real”. I let my gaze linger on the many shades of green out the window. Tuning into the hum of the refrigerator motor, I feel my feet on the ground. I breathe in the green, and in a long, slow exhale, I release residual distress from the past.

But what about present-moment-distress?

A young woman who is part of our extended family is currently in ICE detention in Louisiana - so far from any home she has ever known. Today is her birthday. She asked for a copy of my memoir, An Everyday Cult for her birthday gift. Apparently, she can only receive books and cards. The controls she and too many others experience in detainment are unsettlingly familiar to survivors of cultic coercion - except that they are administered by the government and fueled by our tax dollars. Although parts of my book might be upsetting, I hope she also finds comfort in reading it from her current home away from home.

I asked if there would be cake. She told me people buy a certain cookie from the commissary to honor each other’s birthdays.

My book is on its way to her. Sometimes taking a small action feels good, settles my anxiety, and connects me to the gentleness of what it really means to be human. Sometimes it helps to rise above and just sing: I did something for my friend today. I did something for myself today. I did something for a stranger today and my heart is a little softer. I’m breathing a little deeper. I am celebrating being alive at this moment.

Below is a link to the Go Fund Me for my friend, who we are calling Ada, to protect her privacy. It helped me to work with her sisters to create the fund because she has limited potential to help herself right now.

If it lifts your spirits to contribute, please do. If you have other ways that help you to rise above your distress, I’d love to hear your song.

Support Ada Today