Exploring What Holds Us Back: When Fear Takes the Wheel

I last wrote in January. Not long after, I left for Japan—a trip that became a catalyst for some unexpected inner shifts. More on that another time, as I ease back into the rhythm of this newsletter.

Working with people and organizations for nearly two decades around the themes of change and transformation offers a unique lens into what truly holds people back from going after what they want. It’s easy to say it’s a lack of discipline or commitment—and sometimes that’s true—but more often, it’s deeper.

Belief systems.
Unresolved trauma.
Subconscious programming.
Fear.

All the inner workings we don’t always see on the surface.

Everest & Choosing Love Over Fear

May 21 marked my Everest (Chomolungma) anniversary—2013. I wrote about it [here] and [here], but what I didn’t share was the mantra that echoed through me the entire time I was on that mountain:

Choose love over fear.

At that point, I was already a student of A Course in Miracles, where a miracle is defined as a shift in perception. Considering I nearly died during my first Everest attempt from hypoxia, I had every reason to carry fear with me. But I knew I had to tame it, befriend it, and choose to see each day through a different lens.

Death is never far on 8,000-meter peaks—but that’s a reflection for another post on making peace with death and dying.

Fear as the Blockage

Fear is a powerful force. I’ve watched it stop people in their tracks—and in their sacred paths.

Fear of failing.
Fear of change.
Fear of losing something to gain something else.
Fear of it not turning out.
Fear of every awful “what if” before even taking the first step.
Fear of uncovering what’s really inside.

It’s endless.
And—it’s not entirely our fault.

Look at the media. It feeds us fear on every front. Lately, there’s a growing fear of aging, with people going to great lengths to preserve youth. That too is a reflection for another post—one on longevity and living well.

But here’s the truth:
Fear will never be the friend that helps you cross the threshold into your wildest dreams. Love will.

Love expands our minds and hearts to see possibility.
Fear shuts us down, isolates, and obscures the light.

I said to a friend recently: “I don’t fear dying. I fear being dead alive.”

I’ve done far too many wild things to fear death.
But existing without living? Settling, shrinking, staying small?
That terrifies me.

The Cost of Holding Back

One of the hardest parts of my work is watching people hold themselves back—or be so afraid to really look inside and adventure inward.
Some of the hardest moments of my life? When I held myself back—out of fear, doubt, or circumstance.

Each time, a piece of my soul dimmed or died.

I say this often:
Awareness drives change.

We cannot change what we are not willing to see.
We can only move past our fears if we sit with them, look them in the eye, trace them to their root—and choose to move anyway.

The “looking inside” part? It’s scary. But necessary.

That’s part of why I love adventure, travel, and entrepreneurship: I get to witness people challenge their fears, cross thresholds, and rediscover who they really are.

The reward isn’t always in the success.
The reward is in trying.
In pushing your own limit—because you were the only one who set it in the first place.
In facing yourself deeply, even when you’re afraid of what you might find.

A Love Letter to Your Courage

The world is changing fast. The demands are high. The weight is real.

We can root in fear.
Or we can root in love.

Choose love.
Can you find it—even in the hardest moments?
Within yourself?
Not out there—but in here?

Even the smallest glimmer is enough to shift everything.

The greatest joy in my work is witnessing people give themselves permission:
To live their truth.
To say no to what no longer fits.
To leap toward the pulse of what their heart knows.
To meet themselves—shadow and light.

So I’ll leave you with this:

Question what you fear.

Loss of stability? — Is it really stable?
Loss of identity? — Are you being true to yourself?
What if it all goes terribly wrong? — But what if it goes right?
What if it hurts too much to see and know? — What if seeing helps transform the pain?
What if you die wondering?

Thank you for being here.

Writing is one of my great loves. And truthfully, there’s a little fear every time I hit send—whether here or through She Ventures. People receive so many emails a day, and here I am adding one more.

But my hope is that this newsletter sparks something in you, serves you, or simply reminds you that you’re not alone on the path.

Be free.
Dare to dream again.
Dare to leap—even just a little.

G