Jewellery is for wearing

Recently a cohort of my longtime friends had a lengthy discussion about the joy of wearing pieces of jewellery that hold family traditions steeped into every link and stone.

It was fascinating to hear the stories of heirlooms passed down from grandmothers to mothers to daughters, then on to granddaughters and even great granddaughters. Pieces that come from the old country, or that have been presents from beloved elders. Presents that are lovingly passed on to daughters-in-law and dear friends. So many wonderful stories attached to stones and links of polished silver, gold or brass.

Wearing jewellery was a part of my persona starting in early adolescence. Not a lot of bling in my appearance, but each gift—and they were mostly presents—held a cherished connection to the person who gifted it. One friend of mine moved to far-away New Zealand when we were 12 and sent me a ring and a necklace with shimmering blue-green-gray stones. I wore them proudly and fingered them whenever I thought of her and hoped she would know how much I missed her. They were stolen along with my clothes from a locker room a couple years later; I was heartbroken.

For our family, Native American—mostly Navajo and Hopi—jewellery was the main style we owned and wore. My mother grew up in Albuquerque, New Mexico and her father had various businesses with Native Americans as clients. Since this was post-depression, he often ended up with jewellery and other native products (pots, rugs, belts, etc.) as payment for his food or other services. Additionally, one of my mother’s cousins owned a jewellery business with products made by Native Americans.

For my daughters wedding, I wore a traditional squash blossom necklace that had been my mothers. It was a way to bring her along in spirit, since she had long since passed on.

My mother’s wedding ring was passed on to my son to use for his proposal. It was a way of sharing our family with our daughter-in-law to be; connecting our families through a small circle of gold.

Of course during their Hindu wedding there was a lot more FABULOUS jewellery. Whilst I don’t wear much blingy jewellery myself, I loved picking up a few pieces to wear for the wedding and associated ceremonies, and I adored seeing all the gorgeous pieces my daughter-in-law’s friends and family were wearing.

For many years when my children were young, I hardly wore any jewellery as that was one more thing I didn’t have time to add when quickly getting dressed each day. As the babies were learning to use their fingers, earrings and necklaces quickly became targets for their firm grasp. It only took one or two vice grips on my earrings or literal chokehold on my necklaces to give up wearing those for a few years!

Over time, friends and family now and then presented me with lovely earrings, necklaces and bracelets which I still cherish. To this day each time I see and choose a piece to wear, I think fondly of the way it came to me: the story, the person, the time in my life. Each little gem has a story that brings so much joy along with it.

At various times I have culled back my collection. The first big sift was when I moved to the UK, and then again during the years when I was going through the great purge of the storage unit.

I have kept some of my jewellery that has broken or is only one earring or that has some memory I can’t quite let go. One of my many fantasies is that I will re-craft all those cherished bits into one fabulous piece that I will wear with joy. Someday; maybe. Or perhaps, like my mother did, pass along some of the most colourful costume pieces for grandchildren to enjoy as dress-up accessories.

The other big change in my jewellery wearing came with my increased use of a keyboard for work. I used to wear bracelets every day. Even more than necklaces, I LOVED wearing bracelets. But the constant clacking and getting caught in the keys was an unexpected side-effect of an otherwise useful technology. Typing with bracelets became quite annoying, and so I have given them up except if we go out in the evening.

When I was talking to Pete’s mum years ago when she wasn’t leaving the house much anymore, she told me that she still put on makeup and jewellery each day so that she would look nice for her husband. Even though they didn’t get out much, she reasoned that HE had to look at her all day every day, so she ought to at least make an effort for him. I thought that was a really kind and thoughtful way to look at getting dressed, so I have tried to channel that kindness and consciously try to look nice every day; not fancy, but pleasant.

I still don’t get much past earrings and a simple chain necklace most days unless we are going out somewhere. Since we both work at home it is hard to get too fancy to sit at a desk, cook in the kitchen or dig around in the garden.

My friends began our discussion about family jewellery with some of them saying they are starting to wear more of their jewellery all the time again, because, why not? Like using your good china or silver, why save it only for special occasions? Why not enjoy the beauty of the treasures in your life every day? And in the case of jewellery, taking a moment to savour the special stories and memories of loved ones attached to that small bit of art. Why not, indeed!

And what about you?? Do you wear jewellery? Do you have treasured pieces in your family that have been passed through generations? Do you see a piece of jewellery that reminds you of someone specific or sometime? If you wear jewellery, have your wearing habits changed over time?

Thanks as ever for reading! I’m away for a week to write in Spain with two beloved friends. Hoping to get a lot written and some useful feedback as well. Maybe we’ll have a glass or two of cava or crisp white albariño, particularly after our olive oil tasting 🫒. See you in mid-May!

xx Sabrina

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