Raising digitally confident children

Every day, millions of children tap “accept” when they’re using apps, playing online games, and visiting websites (even educational ones) likely without a second thought about what it is they are accepting. Clicking “accept” often happens subconsciously, in a hurry to get to the content they are trying to reach.

The worrying thing is that one single innocent click can reveal so much private information about a child, including their name, their interests, their friendships and even their sleep patterns to the individual or organisation requesting access.

While we are all getting better at understanding online privacy and speaking to our children about safety when online, most of us aren’t talking to our children about the risks behind the “accept” buttons. We need to.

New research from the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) has found that three in four parents worry their child isn’t making safe choices online, yet one in five have never spoken to their children about online privacy.

I’ve written lots about online safety and privacy in my work, including my new book about Raising Boys, where I talk about the need for open and honest communication with our children as a way to avoid the risks of the manosphere and online radicalisation.

Alongside that communication however we also need to take time to educate ourselves, so that we can keep our children safe. We may think we know everything that we need to know, but we rarely do. When I heard about the ICO’s new research I looked a little deeper and found that there was lots that I didn’t know. I’d urge you to do the same. I think this is so important that I’ve worked with the ICO to bring this article to you.

That’s the scary part over. The good news is that you don’t need to be a tech expert to keep your child safe. The ICO’s new Switched on to privacy campaign (which has been backed by Internet Matters and the NSPCC) reframes online privacy as an essential life skill to teach to children, think about it like teaching children how to safely cross the road, or to be aware of ‘tricky people’ (strangers or those already known to them who make them feel uncomfortable).

The Switched on to privacy campaign offers a simple framework for parents based on three words: Chat, Choose and Check.

Chat regularly with your child about what they share online.

Choose carefully what personal information goes out into the world.

Check privacy settings on new devices and apps together.

As with any of the most important conversations about big issues you have with your children, they should be rooted in connection and trust, not lectures. Working together as a team is key here, it’s important that your child feels that they can always come to you when they accidentally do, or stumble upon, something online that makes them worried. One conversation is a great start but adding in ongoing check-ins over time really help to build your child’s confidence to make their own smart choices as they grow, and importantly – to keep them safe.

You can find practical guidance to help start those conversations at ico.org.uk/SwitchedOn I really hope you visit the site. Protecting children’s privacy, particularly online, is something I feel really passionately about.

Thanks for reading.

Sarah