What is Love?

Courtesy: Wikipedia

One hit wonder Haddaway’s ‘What is Love?’ has been a source of much mirth and joy, amongst friends and family for years now. Be it bang in the middle of a wedding sermon when the Priest rhetorically asked the congregation- What is Love…, only to catch my significant other and his brothers bobbing their heads and silently mouthing ‘Baby don’t hurt me, baby don’t hurt me, no more’ or Kutty R belting out the lyrics in his three year old rasp, when it first played on Alexa. Suffice it to say, Ladies and Gents, this song is a classic.

Courtesy: https://tenor.com/

Recent social media brouhaha over the ‘much-touted wedding that wasn’t’ (MTWTW) brought me back to this song, albeit with fresh eyes.

Who hasn’t been hurt by Love? The protagonists of the MTWTW have been hurt, for sure. Regardless of who was at fault, who was disloyal to whom, ‘Hurt’ is definitely a main character in the Smriti Mandhana and Palash Muchhal MTWTW.

I will not be a drama llama and pontificate on what actually happened between the protagonists. Because, I don’t know and because I don’t need to know and because I don’t want to know.

What does draw me to the MTWTW, is the female protagonist. She is at the top of her game- having just won the Women’s World Cup 2025, whilst holding the record for most international centuries, first Indian to score a century in all three formats of women’s international cricket- tests, ODIs and T20Is, fastest century in ODIs by any Indian batter, vice-captain of the Indian women’s national team ! Uff! That’s a breathtaking array of achievements!

After a week of revelry- professional and personal, when her story was being crowned a fairy tale ‘ending’, she decided to call it quits on the MTWTW and move on personally. Smriti’s social post announcing this, asks to respect the privacy of her family and that of the male protagonist’s family as well. The post also says that she hopes to focus on cricket and play for the country and win many more trophies. She said her bit and is attempting to move on.

From where I am sitting, that looks like grace and courage... Am I reading too much into this? Maybe… Maybe not…

Courtesy: Getty Images

The World needs role models. The world needs relatable role models. We don’t need Mr. or Ms. Perfects. We need fallibility. Vulnerable heroes without feet of clay. We need a bit of self-love, a bit of self-preservation. We need heroes to fall, to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and walk ahead, with a straight spine and a strong step. A MTWTW need not be what defines Smriti, she is that too, a tiny part. But she has been so much more, is so much more and has so much more to her.

Young girls/ women from Sangli, Meerut, Bengaluru, Belagavi, Siliguri, Mumbai, Trichy, Jodhpur, Delhi- everywhere- they are watching Smriti closely. She called off her wedding- in FULL public glare, just hours before the literal tying of the knot and walking of the seven steps. She continues to be the vice-captain of the Indian Women’s team, continues to be the multi- record holder, continues to be Jemimah’s bestie, continues to be Shriniwas’s darling daughter. Not the end of the world. Just another day of hurting less, just another day of putting one foot in front of the other, just another day training at the nets.

Whether she intended to send a message to the many young girls/ women or not, she has. Stand up for yourself. Put yourself first. It is never too late. Now is as good a time as any to walk away. Don’t settle for less. Treat yourself with dignity, regardless of what the World may say. You deserve better. Love yourself. The messages keep writing themselves.

What is Love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me… NO MORE. The classic now takes on a ring of empowerment. All other verses in the song are binned. Head bobbing. Foot tapping. NO MORE.