How Do You Do(uche)?

The worst thing a bottom can do is paint.

At least that’s what the internet would have you believe.

Enter douching, the gay man’s answer to having sex without worry.

It’s a time-honored tradition. You enter the bathroom with your hopes held high, turn on the sink, and grab your trusty bulb. Perhaps you’ve lit a candle, and some pop diva is wailing at you from your phone’s tinny speaker. You fill up that rubber bulb, spread a little lube and slide it gently in. The water fills you up, and then you wait…and wait...before squatting over the toilet, releasing the floodgates, and repeating until the water runs clear.

To be honest, douching is my least favorite part about being gay. It can be stressful, it doesn’t feel sexy, and it puts so much pressure on the bottom.

And it sucks so much because we’re not taught how to douche properly. I learned from a cartoon infographic (which did change my life and is linked below). Furthermore, since many of us douche out of fear, this leads to overdouching or douching improperly because we think that more is better.

It’s not.

In fact, read on, and you’ll find out why my dear friend and bottoming expert Alex Hall of the Bottom’s Digest says that if you “drop the elaborate douching routine, you’ll be skipping out of that bathroom faster than ever before.”

So read on for all the answers to your douching questions, like, how long should I douche for? Should I take Imodium? What’s a sigmoid colon and why does it matter? Are folks doing the Captain Morgan stance, toilet squatting, lying on the floor, or on all fours?

There’s so much to unpack like:

• A quick anatomy lesson so you know what NOT to do,

• Seven steps to make douching more enjoyable

• Tips and tricks from our own community

• How our tops actually feel about a little mess

• And even an invention that may end the need for douching altogether.

So, let’s turn on the faucet of knowledge and get to the bottom of this for bottoming’s sake.

Before we clean out: While Gay Buffet is my sole income, I want to make sure my rates are still affordable. To that end, my yearly paid sub price is still heavily discounted for those who need it. I know money is tight all around, and I really hope this helps! When you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’re not just getting helpful sex content; you’re also helping me pay rent, buy groceries, and keep the lights on.

Thank you so much for your support; I truly couldn’t do this without you. -Aidan