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I you don’t seem enthralled by anything I can offer you and it makes me feel a bit desperate. you don’t appear to want my thoughts or my knowledge or my labour, and you still seem to want my company, and it leaves me adrift. i want to be loved, i should get better at loving, if it’s worth doing why not now? i neglect many a text or a call. but i want yours, i am grasping. and in my dreams we keep…
the cliche that we start with is daddy issues, alright? and the subsequent hungering for male desire and care. bending, yielding, reaching for feminine perfection, infinitely wantable, forgetting to want, ripe to bursting. can i point at this to explain why it feels like the world is ending when he looks askance for a few days? to explain why i ache when I witness my sister subject to the whims of…
moving keeps your life lean every time I zipped myself into two suitcases, I’d find something else unworthy of the space like shedding skin, a new molt every four months, fresh, fresh, fresh. moving keeps you hungry some exquisite trinket, given once only would make my heart leap, can I bring her home? but I was barely strong enough to hold onto my skin, feared the effort in shaping a womb only to…
i like to behave as if i want total control over my own life in order to be happy. and yet i’ve historically given myself many obligations, which is a great way to ensure that other people and things will make life choices for you by default. but i think obligation isn’t the real problem here, it’s choosing obligations well. when I was in high school, I packed my schedule with classes and clubs…
i mostly grew up thinking that chronic anxiety was something that happened to other people. I was pretty shy with strangers and garbage at public speaking for most of my childhood, but a persistent undercurrent of “what if???” was thankfully absent. so it feels strange now for worries to plague me even in my sleep. in the three days before my first visa interview, because I’d prepared my own…
you’ve heard of lemon inside water. but i found out that you can also put cucumber inside water. it is just heavenly. and i think that probably the infusion is happening from the cells I have cleaved at the precipice, at the now-border between cucumber and water, spilling freshness all over the place but i wonder about all of the cells inside the border. are they safe from the water? or maybe…