On becoming a game dev vs. joining game dev companies

These days, you cannot read about gamedev, and not read about layoffs. Like here:

At some point in my life I was thinking whether I really want to become a full time game developer, you know as in join a gamedev company to make games there. And to be honest... I still kinda don’t ;-)

I had my reasons before, but 4 years later I realized I have only more reasons to stand by this stance.

Joining a gamedev company seems to have some benefits.

Making games during work hours, and not only that - you also make games and learn as a day job. You’ll have much more time for your passion project after hours. But you will make games, and the existence of a team implies that you will make more and more complex games.

Digression (because for some reason footnotes do not work this week on substack): My very first job was at a company who ported mobile games to different systems. That was before iOS and Android. And let me tell you: after 8h of work in games, I kind of didn’t want to even play games in the evening. Good thing I lasted there 2 months.

I guess all those possibilities are true. But...

In the end, money won’t be as satisfying as it is in a normal corporate job. Not only less, but it also might not be even regular. Not the thing you might consider when thinking about having a family ;-)

Not to mention layoffs. I got laid off many times, but I can tell when it was my fault. But what you can learn from Amanda’s newsletter (and the meme she shared) being laid off is a bit different in gamedev. You get laid off if you’re bad, you get laid off if you’re good. That’s just weird.

Then of course, you have little control what you want to make. Not always, of course, but often it will be the case.

Joining some of these companies will result in partaking in their brand enslavement. Join CD Project RED, and all you will do will be a Witcher/Cyberpunk thing, and publish rarely. People can find themselves in such predicaments. I couldn’t. I have millions of ideas, not all of them can fit the templates I would be given. Call me proud, call me full of shit, I know what I want. And this is very important to me. To play with my ideas. I can’t achieve that in someone else’s company. So I choose to go solo, and self-funded.

Of course, there are companies like Double Fine and their incredible Amnesia Fortnight competition (which in itself is a handbook on how to lead a gamedev company) that prove it’s possible, but they operate under a completely different set of problems.

Even if I found a place like that, it would feel unfair to the people who already work there. These guys have their own ideas for games. A noob gets in and gets to realize his own ideas? While they’re still waiting? Wouldn’t want to be in this situation. This doesn’t feel earned. And I don’t have enough skills to earn my place among serious specialists with actual experience.

Big companies rarely take risks when making games. And I understand that. If I had to pay all those salaries I would also limit the risk. But I don’t hire, so I can still make my own ideas. And fail safely.

Congratulations, I said to myself, you are a passionate man! You sure are also screwed...

No chance of thinking about developing a studio. #foreverAlone I can drop the dreams about becoming a charismatic leader or the artist in lead or whatever. Seems sad, but frankly, it’s about time to stop 😜 I’m sure I’ll still have a chance to work with some contractors 😉

Instead, I think of the time I have left in life (I’m 41) and I realized I might not be able to give form to all of my ideas. Not only that - there will be a limit to the complexity of the games I will create.

Unless I want to create Dwarf Fortress. With all due respect to the creators, but I have way too many ideas to focus on just one 😉

But going indie as an evening passion project may not end up in making The Witcher 3, but I will learn how the sausage is made.

I will have to reverse-engineer the process, gathering information as I go.

And turn it into an experiment: how complex a game can a single person build? How long will it take? How far can I push AI? And is it even possible to make a profit?

It’s about testing the limits of one person. In the age of AI.

I won’t be making the Witcher 3... And that’s OK. The goal is not to create Renaissance-level graphics. I lack the graphical skills for that. Instead, I will focus on the systems needed to build the games I want. Turn it into a research project, an experiment. If it wins, it wins. If it fails, at least I tried. It’s the side effects that interest me most! And the fact that I won’t die of starvation in the process.