Flowers in the meadows

Flower was last week’s glimmer/prompt, and I tried to sketch or doodle something and ended up really disliking the whole thing. Paper was wrong, the markers didn’t flow, nothing really resonated. But I kept telling myself the same thing I tell to my friends: you showed up and that’s all that matters, because even if you don’t like the outcome, your hand did some work. And that’s really what counts in the long run I think.

But “Flower” wasn’t completely lost on me. As with every glimmer by now, it brought me quite an understanding about parts of myself I wasn’t able to see till now. I noticed that the high school version of me was very well connected to herself. Not in the same way as I am now, but more in the rawer sense, the “I like this, and this is a no-no for me” way. I know it sounds simple, but when I started making everyone else happy, that version of me slowly took a back seat somewhere. Of course the big no-nos were respected but the smaller yeses to things that otherwise wouldn’t have happened, made a huge difference after piling up.

I am glad I am seeing this now though, and that I can do my best to discover more of that original me and be who I actually am :) It’s a process as I see but totally worth the effort I feel.

The flower glimmer also gave me another understanding of the very cliched phrase “Bloom where you’re planted.” I see it as not just the “make the most of what you have” or “be happy where you are”. I see it also as “be present where ever you are”, because it has been increasingly more difficult to really be present in this overloaded, overwhelming, attention grabbing fast world.

No wonder I keep returning to my balcony for sipping my tea as much as I possibly can. It is calming me ever so much and sketching there helps a lot too. Anything creative actually helps big time!

This week’s glimmer/prompt is “Hands” and I am already noticing how my hands have been supporting me all along. They create and care for a lot of things. Me included. Another simple observation but is it really? I don’t think I’m grateful enough for all the simple things I actually have in my life, because I get sucked up into thinking about everything I wish I had or into all the things I think I messed up. What a joy killer that is! And remover from the present moment too.

No wonder this spread from an old sketchbook jumped out at me while I was searching for something completely different:

There are quite a few creative things brewing in me that I cannot share yet, but I can say, I can’t even keep up with everything that is showing up. It’s almost as if the universe opened a well-jammed door and things just started rolling out really fast. Overwhelming and exciting at the same time - very “my normal way” too, actually :) No point in denying it.

I am very curious about what will stay, what will change, what will morph into something completely different and what I actually keep. Just life happening, right?

Thank you for reading, and to soon!

With much love,

Nina