THE JAGUAR EXPERIMENT

I’m one of those guys who used to browse the internet for car porn – before all cars became hideously ugly and I stopped. In my opinion Jaguars were among the most beautiful of cars. They had a curious combination of femininity and power in their design, resulting in subtle elegance. Men liked Jaguars, much as they like beautiful women.

I’m assuming you, dear reader, have seen the recent rebranding of Jaguar. It is rather spectacular. A group of gender-vague individuals in colorful non-clothes walks around, with one swinging a sledgehammer to demolish the patriarchy. Jaguar is no longer a car – it is a social force – and it’s coming for you!

The messages accompanying the rebranding were very illuminating. ‘We are here to delete the ordinary’ is their main message. Considering that Jaguar is no longer about cars, it is pretty clear what they are referring to.

Jaguar’s messages on X during the brand launch were also interesting. ‘Think of this as a declaration of intent’ was one, as well as ‘introducing you to the future’. Another one was ‘you will see things our way.’ Again, this is not about cars.

This rebranding is not some mistake of oversight, where a lunatic marketing department was allowed to go berserk. This is a very clear policy of the company – not just of Jaguar but of the parent company; Jaguar Land Rover. The Managing Director of Jaguar, Rawdon Glover (He/Him) is not giving an inch. He went to the media and attacked the critics of the rebranding, including most of current Jaguar owners. Current Jaguar owners, and the rest of us, are hateful people, full of intolerance and bile. Screw them/us!

His boss, Adrian Mardell (He/Him), the CEO of Jaguar Land Rover, went even further. He sent an internal memo to Jaguar employees where he threatened everyone who voiced any dissent. There is an interesting video online where Adrian recently received an award from some LGBTQ group. In an interview he said the following: ‘We shouldn't be in a world that (sic) you win award just for being a good person.’ Yeah Adrian, you are a very good person. You are in fact so good that you can afford to threaten your employees.

Adrian, his underling Glover, the brand manager whatever his name is, every single X message, everything else in the rebranding, the threats, the ‘I’m better than you’ attitude, the oppressive worldview that ‘you will see their way,’ and the extreme lack of self-awareness – are almost perfect in terms of narcissism. It’s basically like someone designed the perfect narcissistic entity and came up with New Jaguar. I have to admit I’m impressed.

Adrian and his boy Rowdon are British – which is a red flag these days. The British, after all, elected Keir Starmer, are trying to start a nuclear war with Russia, are freezing their old folks to death, engineered a coup in the United States, and are still in the EU even if they think otherwise. However, the British have always been courageous and inventive. They are apparently now carrying out an interesting and courageous social engineering effort on the BBC and other venues.

This PR effort seems to be about the systematic rebranding of trans people and LGBTQ devotees in general. I’ve been told that you can’t turn on a TV in the UK without encountering a show or a documentary about how virtuous and superior LGBTQ people are, how vile the rest of us are in comparison, and how much they are oppressed (by us). Oppression automatically creates virtue so that must be true.

It is only natural that the most virtuous people should be our leaders – perhaps not literal leaders, but at least opinion leaders. Who better to tell us what to do than a truly good and virtuous person? It’s a solid argument I say.

Now, if you are carrying out PR rebranding like this, wouldn’t it be good to have a test case? If you could set up your own little micro-society to test these ideas in a controlled environment you could see how the vile normals would react to their LGBTQ overlords. You could present this to the world as the unavoidable future to see how they react. If this is a success, you can proceed. Hell, even if it’s not a success, you might proceed anyway.

Now back to Jaguar. Jaguar is not a company anymore. It’s a tiny little fascist state with an LGBTQ overclass and cowering little normals. It’s perfect.

At the moment the vile little normals there (employees) are hiding under their desks, fearing the approaching sound of Adrian Mardell’s pink, hobnailed jack boots – and the probing gaze of his LGBTQ enforcers. They better keep their opinions to themselves or else they’ll be purged. No one wants to be purged because it’s not easy to find a job in Britain these days. Better look down and keep quiet – and remember you are in the presence of greatness.

You see, Adrian Mardell is not just a leader of the future. He is the Creator of an experimental society, soon to be extrapolated onto society as a whole. Mardell is nothing less than a prophet of a new paradigm; a new and better fascism – with Mardell as its Hitler. It is colorful fascism, inclusive fascism – fascism for the good people. If you are against this fascism you are a hateful person, full of intolerance and bile. It is a wonderfully elegant inversion, like an upside-down cross.

You might ask why the British would sacrifice an iconic car brand for this experiment. Wouldn’t that be crazy? I say why not? It’s not like Jaguar is British. It’s owned by the Indians. No big loss.

In all seriousness, I have no idea if this interpretation is correct. It sounds improbable, and even crazy. Still, we live in a crazy world. Also, remember we’re talking about Britain here. Nothing is too crazy or stupid for Britain. This is after all the nation that believed that Javelin missiles alone would be sufficient to beat the Russian Army.

Oh, and if you are a Jaguar employee reading this – don’t send the link to other employees using Jaguar email. You might get fired.