Why do we stay committed to some activities, stay in others without feeling committed, and leave the rest?
This was a discussion topic over coffee this week with a local business leader: what keeps people committed to a group or initiative when competing priorities make it hard to choose?
When I consider committing my time to something, the primary question is what it gives me. That sounds selfish as I write it, but I think it’s the truest answer if we’re honest. Even when we’re volunteering for a cause with the goal of service, we’re still choosing to do it because of what it gives us: feel-good moments, something for the resume, a chance to create impact.
With the move to Lewes, one of my professional communities became a monthly four-hour round trip for a half-day session. My renewal came up; I said no and told myself the reasons were the commute and the cost. The full answer was that it wasn’t the group I needed at that time. I know that if what I got out of that room had been what I really needed, I would have made the drive and not thought twice about it.
Two commitments can cost the same time and money, but only one of them feels worth it.
The pattern I notice is that I stick with the activities or groups that give me something: people to learn from, new ways of operating, energy. When I get that, I want to give more back. So yes, it is selfish, but it’s also a driver of my contribution.
Sometimes we commit to something we want to do but then find we aren’t ready to prioritize it over everything else. Walking away from those commitments is hard because we know it’s good for our careers, the business, and our sense of belonging, and we don’t want to let others down. However, staying half-committed comes with its own cost, and that one isn’t ours alone. It’s unfair to the people counting on us to show up fully.
What’s keeping you committed to the things and groups you’ve said yes to? Drop me a message and let me know.
Hi. I’m Melissa. I write for the achiever who knows they can't pressure-test the biggest calls alone but is tempted to do it anyway.
"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run." - Henry David Thoreau, Walden, “Economy”
"Anytime you stick to something when there are better opportunities out there, that is when you are slowing your progress." - Annie Duke, Quit
🎧 You can find out the podcast episodes I’m listening to on my Spotify playlist.
👀 You can find my free leadership resources here.
📓 You can also find additional daily content from me on Notes and on LinkedIn.
Share The Decisions You’re Making Alone
Women with more AI knowledge are less likely to adopt it, not more, because they fundamentally understand that the tool does not exist in a vacuum. As Chatoo puts it plainly in the report, you cannot upskill people out of structural bias.
Calm, clear, and confident
Jul 18
Sometimes we’re really confident about the decision we need to make, and we’re still not in a great place to have the conversation that goes with it.
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.