Footnotes from the Dancefloor #4

Welcome to the series where I share memorable moments from late nights on the dance floor that are too good to forget.

These notes started a couple weekends ago at La Java in Paris. It was a night for house music (not my typical night out because it makes me want to sit down and talk instead of dance) but I’m glad I went. I even met a couple in line who were French and friendly and patient enough to try and communicate with me.

The first attempt at communication wasn’t with me but with the two Americans behind me in line who didn’t speak any french. The drunk Frenchman was so excited to talk though that he pushed through with broken English with only two words being understandable: “Nazi” and “ICE”.

It’s absolutely horrible what’s been happening in the States lately so it makes sense that people want to talk about it. But the news that’s been traveling to France is only part of the horribleness. I tried to enlighten the French on how deep the sh*t goes, but I had to stop myself.

I could feel my mood dropping and I hadn’t even made it to the dance floor yet.

I was reminded that I’m not good at small talk and I excel at thought provoking conversations which I guess is how I ended up in a circle of Europeans discussing which country is the most racist: Italy, France, or Spain.

The Italian said it’s France who’s the most racist.

He claimed that yes Italy is known for it, but it’s gotten better now and when an Italian loves you they realllllyyy love you so somehow it counters the opposite emotion? He even said that one of his Senegalese coworkers who lived in Italy and France said that France is more racist. He said that Italy (like Spain apparently) openly expresses their distaste for other ethnicities but that the French are better at hiding it. When the French people in the conversation agreed, I realized,

f*ck, you’re right

Because in my travels and hopping back and forth between Paris and wherever while I got my visa sorted, it only appeared to me gradually. But the longer I stay, the more I see how prevalent racism runs through France. The more I wonder about my options for where to live with my white husband so that we both feel comfortable.

I’ve been in bliss living in a cultural hub in Paris, but even here, you can feel the tensions with the police targeting the Arab-looking men. Even when they’re sitting on a bench, minding their business.

I met a Spanish guy and we chatted for a long time. And again, somehow we ended up talking about racism in Europe. His take was that Spain is less racist than it used to be and they currently have the best process to invite immigrants. Which he quickly followed up with that all of Europe is racist.

And it really shouldn’t be shocking, right?

The original colonizers still having friction with people of different ethnicities but

f*ck, I wish it didn’t have to be like this.

Five or ten years from now it’s difficult to say where I want to live because the more I see and learn, the more I wonder if there’s any escaping it.

It feels dramatic, but when I was gallivanting around South and Central America, the effects of colonialism were rampant and I could see it continuing in new forms that didn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon (which I talked about here).

I was chatting with a French woman in the smoking area at, and she told me I was going to have a child. A girl. When I refused her prediction and corrected her with,

Oh, you mean a cat

She was insistent on telling me that I would have a child no matter how much I tried to shut that sh*t down. I used to waiver about whether or not I wanted a kid but the older I get, the more I’m set in my choice of protecting my sleep and my peace.

That evening was when I saw a guy on the dance floor playing a guitar screensaver on his phone with such tenacity, it made me want what he was having.

But the major highlight from both weekends were the kind people I met + the friends I kept crossing unexpectedly. It’s tough moving to a new city (and country) not knowing anyone, and I’m so grateful that I’m starting to feel like I’ve found my people.

Thanks for reading,

I’ve been having lots of fun with my YouTube series of investigating different night clubs in Paris :)

Here’s the latest one from La Java.

Bree <3