Well yes, we live in another time. But let me make this bold assumption right at the beginning: What if we need this quality of a brotherhood, even more today so that we are well advised to learn from our ancestors (both as an archetype and as a historic fact)?
When Spartan warriors were together naked, that was first of all a raw, honest and direct way of honoring themselves and each other as men in the circle of their fellow men. Not hiding the truth of the body behind clothes meant being truthful as the body was the truth of the whole person, their discipline, strength, virility. And it was what they had in common. An unbreakable bond. It was not a question of competition (like it appears sometimes in the gyms albeit hidden and unexpressed). It was a question of being strong together.
While they lived their brotherhood like this, what we call today (only since the last 150 years) “sexual orientation” was not yet invented, so no though of it at all. No two different groups of brothers, the “straight” and the “gay” ones, and no criteria leading to separate such groups.
Yes there might have existed for them different kinds of interactions! On one hand side, what they experienced when being together outside of the brotherhood with their wives. This is where they could beautifully embody the encounter between male and female energy typically expressed in the man (penetrating part) and the women (receiving part).
On the other hand side, when they were together as men, an interaction between brothers was seen as an intense way of confidence, of forging each other, of experiencing and giving closeness and of bonding. When this interaction was sexual in nature this would just even intensify the experience but not add something entirely different in energy (as we tend to interpret it into such interactions today). They just knew that nobody could suck a dick as well as a man, a fellow-warrior and brother, as he had the same genital and new by his own inner experience how that felt. So, creating pleasure for each other meant to serve the brother and, as it was believed, to make him ready for war and strengthen his manliness (this was also a practice amongst Roman soldiers). And when he did, he bonded with his brother in a most sincere and open way.
If, in contrast, there was no sexual interaction, that was not less meaningful neither. This whole question (“sexual or not”) just didn’t have such an importance because no identity needed to be artificially created out of it. Nobody judged in order to make this one and only question (“sex or not”) the big distinguisher between brothers. For that reason, experiencing closeness, intimacy OR/AND sexuality between men was by no means less male but could mutually increase their masculine sexual energy.
I remember two colleagues of mine (in the sense that they are intensely working with men, although mostly heterosexually identified men), who reported: when the men are having an evening together, cuddling together while watching a movie, they experienced a much stronger pull from the side of their female partners afterwards, as they were “charged” with masculine energy.
Only that for these heterosexually identified men, of course, it was necessary to have the limit at the “only cuddling” side. Otherwise they would have had to question the whole idea of gay and straight and they didn’t go that far yet. When I do that, I am inviting us men to return to natural sound behaviors we already practiced thousands of years ago in many cultures. It is high time to correct the limiting perception of ourselves, that was carved into our collective consciousness since 150 years ago (a fairly short period of time compared to the history of mankind). This was the moment when the terms homosexual and heterosexual had been introduced with the mistaken belief that these were core identities - see my previous two post:
Where and how do we want to experience Spartan practices of joining other men and live this masculine naked brotherhood? It is: supporting each other to fully be men and giving each other the container, that continues to energetically support us for this role, even when the others are not there visibly.
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